Health: Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up...

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 05:50 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 675

You deserved it 30 894

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 510

You deserved it 15 613

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 115

By foolmetwice - 16/05/2011 14:28

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 087

You deserved it 40 092

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 093

You deserved it 1 177

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 480

You deserved it 6 937

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 719

You deserved it 3 363

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 210

You deserved it 52 376

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 907

You deserved it 1 202

By ouchieouch - 07/01/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 366

You deserved it 42 847

biggestfan23 11

Monday 12 March 2012 15:40

I like burned butts and I cannot lie!

sqeakyclean 7

Monday 12 March 2012 15:51

What's the matter with you?

Comments

friisen_ 0

Monday 12 March 2012 17:13

So you took a bath to re-heat? O_o

naduskalove 3

Monday 12 March 2012 17:29

Ass on fire , ouch !

jaredofmo 22

Monday 12 March 2012 17:37

Are you Popeye the sailor man? Do you live in a garbage can? Because when you turn on the heater, It sure burns your seater.

fmlahahaha 5

Monday 12 March 2012 17:47

Maybe you should consider buying a heated towel rack?? Lol

x_Just_Ellie_x 8

Monday 12 March 2012 17:50

Pics or it didn't happen.

prettyboodoll33 2

Monday 12 March 2012 17:57

I've done that.!!!

ninjduck 0

Monday 12 March 2012 18:04

Haha smart one

skullcandifiedDJ 5

Monday 12 March 2012 18:12

OHHhh you got BURNED. Sigh* I seriously need to get better jokes...

navychick2 10

Monday 12 March 2012 18:20

Ive done that when i was younger.

Pandacupcakelove 26

Monday 12 March 2012 18:27

Whyyy? -.-

Keywords

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Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 101

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 70

The Top

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 822

You deserved it 1 743

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 920

You deserved it 6 949

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 739

You deserved it 4 966

Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 476

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 905

You deserved it 4 780

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 302

You deserved it 5 787

Same thing different taste

Third degree

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