Intimacy: Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at...

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 154

You deserved it 6 257

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Same thing different taste

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 237

You deserved it 36 234

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 433

You deserved it 2 607

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 8 733

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 033

You deserved it 45 821

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 640

You deserved it 86 669

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 623

You deserved it 34 712

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 912

You deserved it 28 231

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 877

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 228

You deserved it 3 802

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 978

You deserved it 7 499

starbucksguy 16

Wednesday 9 May 2012 1:28

Harsh...but come on, how much did you pay?

shift_love 13

Wednesday 9 May 2012 1:28

Ahhhh dear old dad. Always love to make a mockery of his sons sex life.

Comments

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 May 2012 2:56

Twenty bucks for a ********, but 50 euros for a hickey. It makes no cents.

Monkeybuttcream 4

Wednesday 9 May 2012 7:00

Well played. Answer: The price doubles when your family?

Arrawyn 12

Wednesday 9 May 2012 3:10

Dick move from your dad. You must have had a shitty childhood

lizzienderek 4

Wednesday 9 May 2012 3:20

You are so lucky.... My dad would kick him out, My mom would of hit me with whatever she had on her hand( like a belt, broom, Or spoon), and My parents would have a family meeting with his parents

TheUnknown_fml 9

Wednesday 9 May 2012 3:26

Well, calculate all the cost of food you paid for her+flowers+gifts+gas.

BostonBear 33

Saturday 26 January 2013 21:27

good point

Zangetsu67 5

Wednesday 9 May 2012 4:23

Ooh, burn man, that sucks

Omnomnomnivore 10

Wednesday 9 May 2012 4:32

You're dad sounds awesome

groupleader 7

Wednesday 9 May 2012 4:37

Everyone thinks he was joking. Maybe she looked like as hooker. Maybe dad picked her up before. this one needs clarification. please op, post how much you paid for her so we can put this one to rest.