Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I got broken up with, after renovating her family's apartment over the last 9 months. She even waited until I'd hung the last lights, whose shipment was delayed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML
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Top comments
TXFernwoods 26
Get a restraining order, man!
Welshite 39
I think that brick to the head affected your ability to form sentences. You poor dear. :(
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Comments (101)
Witchylady 17
Have her committed as soon as you can. But don't drive to the hospital in your car she may still want to claim it as her own.
gaydragon 13
thats never good op glad you had the guts to try and break up with her before it was too late, really hope you got the law involved Before serious things happened and not that it really matters but what kind of car?
djaythekidd 1
Bitch is crazy!
Punkgirl4554 20
sounds like Lilah from Dexter
foxwasalamb 24
why the **** would you give your gf of a month a vintage car?!
TheLadyOpal 30
He wouldn't, but since she's a psycho she apparently expects him to. Kinda like it says in the FML.
foxwasalamb 24
it says "let her keep" obviously he gave it to her
mikbrooke 25
no. he did not 'obviously' give it to her. considering the threats she made, i would think she is the type of girl who is all 'whats yours is mine blahblah,' so thinks she should be able to keep it.
conholio33 28
Time for a restrainging order
A7XCamaro 19
I can't really be the only one wondering what kind of car it is, am I?
Nyarlothatep 12
You're not, I'm rather curious myself..
A7XCamaro 19
That's good to know. Where the hell is OP at? We have important questions that need answers.
americanafrican 32
i NEED to know what car
CSUNMSU 5
Give her the matches and call her bluff.
KimchiKim 9
I swear women are capable of being scarier than men...
nightchan 3
Change locks. Lock everything.