Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
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Top comments
WearingHats 14
At least it was empty.
ginnygoggorgon 3
Reconsider your word choices when breaking up with future girlfriends lol
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Comments (110)
olpally 33
So, how's your windshield? :) apparently she still wants your rump roast on her plate as opposed to a porterhouse steak...good luck getting rid of her. She seems like rose from two and a half men. Be afraid! Lol.
gc327072 31
As Quagmire would've said: "Oh, God!"
TheJoeydark 4
Apparently you left her with an empty plate, and she did not like that! Ninja girlfriend Attack!
Jacquelinia 6
is the windshield okay?
gc327072 31
Just imagine if he had invited her to a Smashing Pumpkins concert. That girl would've brought a hammer…
SqueakyChipmunk 22
DISHWARE FIGHT! Throw a cup!
deegeebee 10
*flings a plate like a frisbee*
UncleMuscles 5
*throws a knife like a dart*
soullessgingers 0
Well, at least you don't have a psycho on your hands anymore.
melonbeast 4
Was it a paper plate?
yankfan89 27
If it was a paper plate I doubt OP would have been worried about it hitting his car.
KiddNYC1O 22
It simply wouldn't have been an FML. Unless severe paper cuts were suffered.
asinforasin 1
#53 is right, severe paper cuts kill millions of people every day. It is horrible. We need to help end the violence of the paper plates :(
JoleneDaniel 12
You're funny
gc327072 31
Guy: "Hey babe where are you? I came to your house to pick you up..." Girl: "I'm at the pumpkin patch, duh!" Guy: -___-
Nobody621 4
Having a girlfriend shouldn't be a burden or just something else on your plate, she should be someone who can help when you're feeling overwhelmed.
KandiHybrid 6
^ I agree with 28. However, her reaction was a -bit- much (understatement, I know).
lovecrazy12 14
Exactly! I totally agree.
amandajlucas2015 2
My thoughts exactly.. Maybe next time ur breaking up with someone come up with a better excuse and ull get a better response
nevershouttami 11
She did you a favor, now you don't even have a plate anymore :D