Today, my girlfriend invited her sorority sister, who fled an abusive relationship, to live with us without asking me. This wouldn't be a problem, but her friend is easily two points hotter than her and…. thirsty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from studying abroad a week ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML
Today, my girlfriend's parents have been having issues with her older brother and her mom called to say she was flying over to stay with my girlfriend. I'm twice my girlfriend's age and she hasn't told her parents about me. She also sublet out her apartment and we have been living together for over a year. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
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Top comments
Hangryko 32
Stop thinking with your dick and don't touch her.
weeping_willow 25
Control your whoremones
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
Still don't see a problem. If you get caught boning her, you can say it was a pity ****. Pity ***** are forgivable based on humanitarian concerns. If you don't get caught, even better.
Plop 17
Yup. I think it's even part of the Geneva convention. Or rather vaGineva convention in this case.
Hangryko 32
Stop thinking with your dick and don't touch her.
weeping_willow 25
Control your whoremones
BurnInDemonFire 39
Right. And I was the first human on Mars.
benjamn 24
Sounds like the start to a good 3-way porno.
Wadlaen 24
Congratulations! And the best of luck to you!😅
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow... that's messed up. You definitely sound like someone who can't be trusted. The girl is just getting out of an abusive relationship, and all you can think of is that she's hotter than your girlfriend - how would that make her feel? Keep it in your pants, dude.
repKyle95 24
Seriously. Like, I'd be on the guy's side if he hadn't mentioned her looks just because having another woman who is "thirsty" living with you and your partner is obviously not the best, but bringing her looks into it is just skeevy as ****