Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
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Comments (297)
redmnky21 8
I suggest you have her arrested because she's nutz and needs medication
an3ph 20
What's for dinner?
flashback_fml 14
You should say psycho not abusive, psycho is more appropriate and doesn't make you look like a pussy.
Harrison38 5
call the vops teoprt her gor a B&E and animal abuse
2ru 14
I know the sex must have been good beyond belief. You need to file a police report and stay the **** away from her. Sorry to say she's probably not done with you yet. If she was abusing you in the relationship you should have hauled ass at the first sign of it. Get some pepper spray seriously.
cnewton84 28
Well, if she did that it might be all for the better
darkmis1 18
Call the cops on that psycho. Now.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, what a twist. Normally it's girls reported this situation... But in all seriousness, that is absolutely horrible, OP! Please tell me you called the police. She should get arrested for animal abuse, plus breaking and entering and maybe even stalking. I'm an animal rights activist, and strongly believe that anyone who harms an animal should have the same thing done to them, ten-fold. So get a fork and stab her with it and see how SHE likes it. Poor hamster. :'(
MissSoul 6
it's too bad police don't take violence against animals seriously
Memen88 16
omg poor hamster!