Today, I fell down the stairs with a cup of coffee. It gave me burns on my arm and I sprained my wrist. FML

Walnut head

Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

Late fee

Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML

Double FML

Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

Smashing awakening

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML