Intimacy: Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until...

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 12 847

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 262

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 263

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 196

You deserved it 14 984

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 380

You deserved it 613

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 280

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 490

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 368

Get it where you can

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 340

By Nikse - 29/07/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 52 026

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 825

Batkid217 14

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:03

looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.

aylind 18

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:07

Well...there's always your fingers.

Comments

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:24

Would you like to play with my Vape instead? You have to click it 5x to turn it on/off. Maybe that will satisfy your OCD.

horneyhic 15

Wednesday 20 May 2015 2:51

I think we have the same vap

DoomSkuller 28

Wednesday 20 May 2015 7:52

I don't know about that. Her saying she turned the toy on and off seven times makes it sound like her OCD is specific to the number seven. OCDs like this can sometimes be tied to superstition and most times OCDs in general are difficult to satisfy with anything other than what they're specific to.

enginsteve 17

Wednesday 20 May 2015 9:06

Googling "Vape"

Exaspera 54

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:26

Write your phone # on bathroom walls and set your phone to vibrate!

shemademedoit 20

Wednesday 20 May 2015 6:43

sadly they won't be calling at the time she needs it. it would be funny seeing her ****** answering the call

DoomSkuller 28

Wednesday 20 May 2015 7:53

It would be more efficient to use the home phone to call her cell phone

Creed_Aprooved 12

Thursday 21 May 2015 20:07

"Yes hello this is Vigina speaking"

niallo 23

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:26

With fingers that fast, why do you need a vibrator at all?

udderbutter 15

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:40

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 20 May 2015 1:30

Looks like you got a glitch...welcome to FML

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:43

I have a form of OCD like that as well...I feel your pain...I would suggest maybe not a vibrator just a basic acrylic or glass one wouldn't be a horrible idea...