Intimacy: Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until...

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 265

You deserved it 12 879

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 282

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 121

You deserved it 272

Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 301

You deserved it 15 013

Overcome

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 431

You deserved it 633

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 302

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 509

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 382

Get it where you can

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 373

By Nikse - 29/07/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 365

You deserved it 52 056

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 844

Batkid217 14

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:03

looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.

aylind 18

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:07

Well...there's always your fingers.

Comments

Zebediabolical 40

Wednesday 20 May 2015 1:44

Did your OCD make you order seven of them?

Deku_Cutie 12

Wednesday 20 May 2015 1:45

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

MDoremis 38

Wednesday 20 May 2015 9:37

Rude.

MRSwick2525 23

Friday 22 May 2015 5:54

Just curious as to why you say she was apparently already sad. Since you seem to know how she is feeling, please tell me how you knew she was sad!!

pandalover69 26

Friday 22 May 2015 6:29

She didn't say she was sad before she bought the vibrator. Buying a vibrator doesn't mean you're sad, it just means you're horny.

yosico22 16

Wednesday 20 May 2015 1:47

Horny bitch.

THEDUDE1553566 24

Wednesday 20 May 2015 2:16

Not good quality I guess

Selene1090 26

Wednesday 20 May 2015 2:57

Talk about easily broken. I'd look into getting a better one and researching it before buying.

LostInTheZone11 29

Wednesday 20 May 2015 4:11

Not so lucky 7.

martin8337 35

Wednesday 20 May 2015 4:17

It's a jungle out there. Disorder and confusion everywhere. No one seems to care, but I do. Hey, who's in charge here?

Sora_McKain 36

Wednesday 8 July 2015 11:33

People think I'm crazy because I worry all the time. If you paid attention you'd be worried too.

Urpoppy 21

Wednesday 20 May 2015 4:19

Get a plug in version and some therapy.

skepijohnson 11

Wednesday 20 May 2015 4:49

Sounds like some not so good vibrations

Twid 16

Wednesday 20 May 2015 4:55

Isn't that just a "buzz" kill...

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I agree, your life sucks 46 352

You deserved it 23 661

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I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 222

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You deserved it 3 630

Same thing different taste

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