Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party, but when I went to it, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML
Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML
Today, I got stuck in a dress in the fitting room and had to call the sales associate for help. She had to crawl under the door to rescue me. FML
Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML
Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML
Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
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Top comments
starry_eyed 0
Wow...was it really that ugly? I've love to see a picture, because the dress in my head is absolutely disgusting.
perdix 31
Was it RALPH Lauren?
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Comments (43)
leyash 0
Why would you buy a dress that looks like someone vomited on it?
Veritas143 0
Haha The first time I heard the word "sick" as vomit was when I read A Clockwork Orange.. that's all I really have to say about this FML..oh and don't buy ugly dresses.
AliceStar 2
a clockwork orange is ****** up!
AwfullyniceBS 7
I love that book! And the movie is sick, haha :)
puhffft 0
I really want to see that dress now.
W33nie 0
your life must suck so much
FerrariCake 2
You deliberately bought a dress with a pattern that looks like vomit? Whaaa?
mycleverusername 0
Patterned vomit? How avant-garde. Your co-worker clearly knows nothing about fashion.
HeatherFTW 0
I bet that little exchange was followed by about 20 long seconds of awkwardness.
shutyourmouth 0
Throw up patterned dresses are clearly whats "in" at the moment. Duh, people.
arissia 0
Vomit pattern ftw!
Nakedsquirrel 5
YDI for picking clothing with such a hideous pattern. My mother once showed me a pair of designer jeans that had been marked down 85%. One of the legs had a pattern that apparently was supposed to resemble leaves. Brown and orange leaves which, when viewed from a distance of over two feet, made the leg look like it was slick with diarrhea. Care to guess why these jeans were 85% off?