Intimacy, Sex, Wanker and Cute: To infinity and beyond - FML

To infinity and beyond

By Gwen - 07/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Spicy

Today, it's much easier to get things on now in our 40s than it was when we were younger. However, if I want to boost things even further, I don't need adult movies, but an episode of the Buzz Lightyear show from 2000s. This guy gives me such a girl boner that my husband now calls our sexual stuff "Lightyearing around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 325

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/01/2018 15:00

Spicy

Today, my husband has had a low sex drive for a while now. I've been trying all sorts of things to pique his desire. Turns out that a conversation about Neil deGrasse Tyson was all I ever needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 605

You deserved it 573

In the heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 00:02

Spicy

Today, I was going at it with my boyfriend when he asked what nickname I wanted to be called. I told him to make something up. A few seconds later, he called me Buzz Lightyear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 500

TMI dude, TMI

By Lockie - 28/04/2009 09:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year-old male customer went into explicit detail about the "adults only" programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming, and tries out on his 70 year-old wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 044

You deserved it 6 531

By LALALALA - 29/05/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 159

You deserved it 48 864

Fleeting

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 19:00

Spicy

Today, my husband woke up with the first boner he’s had in almost 6 years. He yelled for me to join him so we could have sex again like the old days, but by the time I was finished on the toilet and raced to get to him with my pants still round my ankles, he'd gone soft. We’re only in our 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 195

Bustin' makes me feel good

By Billie - 03/09/2025 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 184

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Spicy

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 077

You deserved it 5 603

By Chris - 12/08/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 227

You deserved it 46 104

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 04:10 - France

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 078

You deserved it 38 384

Don't yuck his yum

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 1 133

Next

Top comments

Thaylok 17

Friday 8 August 2025 0:28

To infertility and beyond! Seriously though, Good on ya! Go and have fun with it!

FluffythePink 23

Saturday 9 August 2025 23:02

Eh, whatever floats your boat.

Comments

Thaylok 17

Friday 8 August 2025 0:28

To infertility and beyond! Seriously though, Good on ya! Go and have fun with it!

FluffythePink 23

Saturday 9 August 2025 23:02

Eh, whatever floats your boat.

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The Top

Today, I found out that my husband really thinks onion rings are seafood. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 594

You deserved it 2 538

Today, my partner convinced both of our little brothers that we are naming our son Obi-Wan. They now won't stop rubbing my belly and quoting Star Wars. This is going to be one long Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 549

You deserved it 1 082

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 314

You deserved it 2 509

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 502

You deserved it 7 853

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 918

You deserved it 5 164

Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends, and when she finally crashes into bed, she just goes to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 224