Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML
Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
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Top comments
th4m4ster 6
you can do better
im_not_creative 5
Looks like she didn't get the point.
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Comments (73)
fayman 5
does anyone here realize that the reason she wants to take a break is because he went out of his way to prove her wrong? it doesnt matter what the argument is about, you should never try that hard to win. because you lose in the long run. he should let her do what she wants or stop acting so surprised when he downgrades her and makes her feel stupid and she doesnt like it.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
I think you mean "degrades," but yes, I also agree on this point. Both men and women get really offended when someone tries SO hard to prove them wrong. If my significant other felt there was this one thing (in this example acupuncture) that they really needed to keep in their routine, I would see if there was a way for them to maybe cut back a little, or look at the budget and see what are items that both of us can live without if money is that tight.
Haaskyle 2
People that rely on science for all of their answers to everything are dumb! I wouldn't say something doesn't work just because "science" has trouble accepting it!
Shrike 24
Science has proven it's all in the mind. It doesn't work except for suggestible people. There's a big difference between that and having trouble accepting something. I bet you think the planet is 6000 years old too.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Okay Shrike, so please explain to me, scientifically, why my cousin, who swore up and down, to hell and back, that acupuncture is just a placebo that only works on "weak minded fools," yet when his mother took him to just give it a try on the off-chance (for his back pain), it worked? He was completely pain free after that session. This is the guy that researches every last thing to the very reaches of the earth, and sucks any information he can get like it's some kind of academic bone marrow. Yeeeeettt... no pain. You going to tell me magic?
Haaskyle 2
No, did I say science was "never" right? It's not 100% either way, it's a little of both, be open minded!
Shrike 24
AmbrosiaWriter- Uhm... really? Your bro said it was placebo effect. He went in and was subjected to the placebo effect. Then he's SURPRISED that he was under the influence of the placebo effect?! Are you kidding me? Just cause you know about the effect doesn't mean you're not suceptible to it. Do you really think you're actually making a point here???
FreaksandGeeks 5
88- Any reputable scientist will even say science is not %100, even things that seem so certain like the likelyhood of a pen falling to the ground is only %99
Haaskyle 2
I understand that, I was just pointing out to "Shrike" that science isn't always the answer to everything like they think!
sadistmonkey 19
Shrike - placebo generally works for people who believe in the particular treatment. If you don't believe in acupuncture, chances are acupuncture won't have a placebo effect on you. It doesn't mean that you won't be subject to the placebo effect for other things.
Cloudberry 10
97 - What the actual **** are you talking about. Placebo effect takes place when the patient thinks they're receiving valid treatment. Like for example if I knew I was given a sugar pill instead of actual medicine, it wouldn't work. At all. If I didn't know the pill was just sugar, chances are I would get better.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
I bet you have plenty of things you "waste money on" and would be pretty insulted if your GF turned on you and said to stop wasting money on it. If it works for what she needs it for, lay off. I could see the annoyance if it was something like a psychic help line, but acupuncture can (and has on many occasions) had tangible effects on the people that try it. As scientific as I am, I don't throw 100% faith into science either. There is only so much you can measure and observe, and only so big of a sample size you can use. Has science explained yet why certain people snap out of a coma, but others are stuck in it for the rest of their lives? There are many things that work that science could only explain much later when they had better understanding. For example, the Chinese have used many different kinds of herbs and remedies to treat illnesses or pain, not knowing why only knowing it worked. Science came LATER and found that those certain herbs/plants had some kind of chemical make up that did something or other in the body that helped with those maladies. Just because science can't explain it (yet) doesn't mean it is completely debunked, or a placebo.
KatieKayy15 0
agreed.
ashleigh_smashly 3
Maybe she would have taken you more seriously if you knew how to spell bologna
GoW_Chick 15
Grab a dictionary and look up bologna, then look up boloney, and come back and fix your comment.
reldnahceus 8
I do believe she's seeing acupuncture guy.
jsears077 4
You'll never win with a women it's useless to argue on stuff like that. All you can say is yes dear and win that way.
brknankls 5
**** I didn't understand any of that I'm so high
vbmg152 19
Can I come over? Lol!! :-)
MsMeiriona 2
Well, was it helping her? If so, you could probably find a cheaper placebo.
DWeth 0
It's spelled bologna.....
vbmg152 19
I can think of worse things to "waste" money on! Acupuncture helps millions of people! it's accepted medicine in Asian countries! You're a loser!