Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML
Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML
Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML
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Top comments
th4m4ster 6
you can do better
im_not_creative 5
Looks like she didn't get the point.
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Comments (73)
hateevryone 15
move on.
Mojo66930 0
biches be crazy...
KatieKayy15 0
smooth move, Sherlock.
TomHarrow 5
You should have tried it. Never second guess your girl man. You will never win.
Nell683 0
My bologna has a first name...
kei1108 13
You don't deserve someone who is as petty as that. "oh no... I'm wrong... I need to get out of this relationship to avoid embarrassment and have the upper hand!" pathetic.
Ins0mau 20
That's assuming she IS wrong. There's literature that supports both sides. Also I think it was more that the boyfriend was telling her she can't do it anymore that lead to the breakup. Not some hypothetical argument.
redmonkey224539 9
It can actually help but it's mostly a placebo affect
BubbleGrunge84 7
Technically you haven't proved anything to her. All it is some words...wanna prove her wrong (or write) go do it with her.
BubbleGrunge84 7
Proven* *right sorry ill thumb me down too....
bubo_fml 11
I asked a girl if she grasped the Ying-Yang concept...When she said no, I demonstrated with a hands on approach!
fmlswag 11
She's not worth it.