Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML
Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML
Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML
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Top comments
th4m4ster 6
you can do better
im_not_creative 5
Looks like she didn't get the point.
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Comments (73)
crazyblackchick 0
Solution: stab her with a bunch of sewing needles and call it home made acupuncture. Either that, or just do an re-enactment of Issac's death from Final Destination 5.
Xalandra 17
Okay, really? My best friend has had trouble getting pregnant because of her irregular to non-existent period. She's tried medications to help, but they haven't been very effective. She's off the meds now and got medical coverage to try accupuncture and her period is now regular. About 85% of women who try accupuncture to increase fertility become pregnant after two menstural cycles. No ones period just becomes regular after 10-12 years of it never being regular.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I don't understand how anyone could find acupuncture appealing, and if your girlfriend is wasting your money on it, and then dumps you for proving it's a waste, then you're much better off without her. Let her waste her own money on the crap. Has she not seen 1,000 Ways to Die? Sheesh...
crazyblackchick 0
Why acupuncture isnt good: FINAL DESTINATION 5.
xkillerbrandyx 3
Actually my dog has a slipped disc and gets it and the acupuncture really works
FreddyAmazin 0
You can't spell "bologna", so your argument is invalid.
rdwhite1986 0
Now you've saved some $$$ atta boi
dominic1221 6
could say the same about people sacrificing goats to gods for a good harvest, though...
Simoneaux17 11
Tell her "Oh thank God! I was wondering when it would be over!"
JennaNGood 21
YDI - for knocking it before you tried it - acupuncture can actually do alot of things, despite what 'science' is telling you