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You better.

You better hide well!

And also hope no one finds you there.

Don't forget to hide yo kids and yo wife as well.

You better be running fast from that crappy joke...

I'm after you. So hide real well.

If its that bad you could just bathe it off. Geez

Your husband has a pretty terrible sense of humour.

I thought that was a pretty funny pun OPs husband said. Plus, if he was already "shitfaced" he had no right to drive and endanger people's lives.

What a butthole!

use his favorite shirts!!

...and next time he has a stomach ache, make sure that the bathroom is missing toilet paper, leave the home, and turn off your phone. That'll teach him for life!

Oh, wow. Your husband's a dickhead.

Actually, he was a shithead. Haha! oh..

Get his favourite t shirt from the wardrobe, use, replace back in draw. Two problems solved.

Except now there's a shit covered shirt to deal with in your clean dresser drawers.

And now the smell of shit will embed itself in the wood of the drawer. Not to mention bacteria, insects...

You know, if you have diarrhea, toilet paper should be out of the question. Find some baby wipes or something and learn how to properly wipe. ;)

or take a shower. def more solutions than jus toliet paper.

He'll regret it when he comes home.

Use his pillowcase?

Then he'll really be shitfaced.

that is the shits