By arse of fire :( - United Kingdom - Slough
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML
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By  mozeltov  |  7

Well, I guess you could say...that's a shitty situation....get it? Shitty? LOL
no? Alright, I'll go hide in my corner ;(

  OscarDV  |  8

I thought that was a pretty funny pun OPs husband said. Plus, if he was already "shitfaced" he had no right to drive and endanger people's lives.

  AKGirlinSD  |  20

...and next time he has a stomach ache, make sure that the bathroom is missing toilet paper, leave the home, and turn off your phone. That'll teach him for life!