Love: Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your...

By BigLove - 05/02/2014 02:25 - United States - Stoneham

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 412

You deserved it 5 286

Love

Dysfunctional

Scratch that itch

Family heirloom

By Madagascar - 19/12/2009 10:18 - Australia

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 812

You deserved it 4 866

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 579

You deserved it 8 803

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 01:34 - United Kingdom

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 677

You deserved it 44 052

Social media was a mistake

By Gorgonzola - 13/11/2021 07:59

Today, my now ex-girlfriend dumped me because I refuse to open an account on Facebook, Instagram or whatever. Four years ago, I had to retire from social media for good because another ex-girlfriend was harassing me frequently. No, I didn't have any children with that ex, if that's what you think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 81

By anon - 08/03/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 813

You deserved it 76 639

Fair point

By beenawhile - 20/09/2019 04:03 - United States - Boston

Today, my 17 year-old brother asked me if I used birth control. When I told him I did, he responded, "Isn't that like using an inhalor when you don't have asthma?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 207

Snarky

By great - 10/02/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 526

You deserved it 74 879

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 20:00

Today, I went into work with the mentality that all of my ass-busting work was going to result in me finally being promoted to manager. We had a site meeting. The entire building is being laid off because Apple cut our contract. Yay, I'm out of a job. I hate Apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 207

By mperh - 28/05/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 823

You deserved it 3 228

By StupidBerk - 17/09/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 546

You deserved it 3 142

Where's mah caaaaake?

By Furi - 28/05/2021 11:01

Today, it was my mother’s birthday. I was on my way to pick up her cake but I got into a car accident and ended up in the emergency room. When I call her to explain what happened, she called me an useless fuck for ruining her birthday by not bringing the cake. She’s yet to ask if I'm okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 67

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 666

You deserved it 1 775

By teriyaki124 - 21/03/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 447

You deserved it 17 835

By broke - 17/01/2012 16:08 - Canada

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 089

You deserved it 2 327

High on emotion

By Anonymous - 10/07/2020 05:00

Today, a woman I’ve liked for years falsely claimed to be strung out on crystal meth rather than just turning me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 123

By NeoDepressed - 31/03/2019 12:00 - Czech Republic

Today my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if i want a therapist. I said idk. Then my mom said "But wait its going to cost a lot of money".. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 603

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 815

You deserved it 11 432

By Rick - 22/05/2012 11:02 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 4 792

By Shuttie - 18/01/2013 12:55 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 560

You deserved it 43 502

In vain

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 08:01 - Germany - Teningen

Today, I found out that I chose a wrong class and my 30-page paper worth 10 credit points that I wrote for that class is basically worthless now, and my graduation might be postponed another semester just because of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 508

By Anonymous - 30/05/2017 22:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, I saw a dead ant. It made me think about how brief and fragile life is, why we're all here, and whether it has a point. It was a piece of lint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 493

You deserved it 835

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 317

You deserved it 57 675

Back to public transport

By Dante - 30/11/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It's going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers' spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 009

You deserved it 2 668

By Unemployed - 17/09/2015 07:14

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 698

You deserved it 1 575

By missyoudad. - 31/08/2010 07:54 - Australia

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 422

You deserved it 2 845

Freaky situation

By Cody - 09/08/2021 00:01

Today, my boyfriend left our bed at 6 a.m. to go upstairs and go back to bed with his son and soon to be ex-wife. I then had to ride in the backseat of a car for 6 hours while they talked and laughed. Not once has he asked if I'm okay or what's wrong. I've barely spoke all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 539

By sauve dino. - 25/03/2016 03:12 - France - Groslay

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 349

You deserved it 4 355

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 487

You deserved it 2 426

By Lost5dollars - 08/08/2017 14:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to a bunch of missed calls from a number I didn't know. I had called an Uber in my sleep. They charged a cancellation fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 072

You deserved it 1 073

By ironies a b*tch - 13/04/2013 05:04 - United States - Chatham

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 069

You deserved it 21 702

By dragonstooth257 - 03/02/2019 12:00

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. Ihe first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 572

Mistaken identity

By fmlfmlfml - 20/07/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 977

You deserved it 4 894

By Offended - 19/02/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 257

You deserved it 2 978

By YouAREthefather - 18/03/2010 16:48 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 295

You deserved it 3 831

By klynn267 - 09/05/2012 11:03 - United States - Portland

Today, I switched cell phone service providers, hoping to upgrade. After working out the details and picking a phone in the store, I got home to find my brand new cell can't get a signal in my house. I already signed the two year contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 434

You deserved it 6 067

Brutal

By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she prefers to be on top because I appear skinnier than I actually am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 257

By karengoeswest - 16/08/2018 15:00

Today, my coworker was talking about how he's met the man of his dreams and they've been dating for 3 months. He showed me a picture of them at Niagara Falls last weekend. His new boyfriend is my husband, who was supposedly on a business trip in Boston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 897

You deserved it 255

By neverbeensurprised - 14/08/2009 05:29 - United States

Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 134

You deserved it 47 136

By Gjkashldf - 04/05/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 967

You deserved it 57 622

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 13:00

Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 107

You deserved it 265

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Top comments

Vitally 6

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:13

Getting dumped isn't the worst thing that can happen on Christmas. Imagine if your parents didn't get you the right color iPhone? *shudders*

xivoricbutterfly 25

Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:08

You'll find the right one op. Dont like facebook get you down. breaking up is apart of life

xivoricbutterfly 25

Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:08

You'll find the right one op. Dont like facebook get you down. breaking up is apart of life

levention 18

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:17

People still use Facebook?

EternalTime 7

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:18

You know Facebook has taken over your life when you randomly add "like" to a sentence

xivoricbutterfly 25

Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:20

Let*

AKGirlinSD 20

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 10:03

10, another reason why I'm Facebook free. I'm sorry, OP, that you have to be reminded of an unpleasant memory. Is there a setting where you can opt not to have your video played?

Kamon97 23

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 13:35

Facebook really know how to hit you right in the feels

FangirlingAlways 14

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 14:15

I used to have a Facebook but I deleted it. Too many fake friends who are just trying to get more people on their friends list.

colton_colton 49

Wednesday 5 February 2014 17:20

Exactly. Screw what facebook says, you'll find the right one!

NikkiRainbow63 31

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Thursday 6 February 2014 0:55

Leave it to Facebook to remind you of all your greatest times!

ironichalibut 24

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:08

That's part of your life, and obviously one with impact. You should embrace it!

muryjee13004150 5

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:29

I am sooo fucked up right now. A little too much Jack Daaaniels Id say.

Rainhawk94 27

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 13:12

#17 if your grammar seems ok for someone so wasted

ironichalibut 24

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 19:50

No, they missed an apostrophe there, not to mention the grave error that there's *never*, too much JD.

HarrisonVR 17

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:08

let's just hope the likes were of sympathy not malice! that sucks though OP, Facebook needs to make some recalculations!

leshypeachy 6

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 11:48

Why do they need to make recalculations? She put it on Facebook herself and they didn't force her to make the video YDI OP

Raidriar 14

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 23:37

Facebook doesn't need to make any recalculation a whatsoever. It's certainly his most popular status update, whether he likes it or not. They're not going to program something that finds words like "break up" and automatically ignores that particular status.

leshypeachy 6

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Thursday 6 February 2014 2:00

*Him, you obviously knew what I was talking about what's the big deal?

Priyaroshni 40

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:08

Quick! I must do something interesting...

Wizardo 33

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:12

Last Christmas I gave you my heart, the very next day you posted it away. Next Christmas I'll poke someone special.

Vitally 6

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:13

Getting dumped isn't the worst thing that can happen on Christmas. Imagine if your parents didn't get you the right color iPhone? *shudders*

chutney_02 22

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 17:22

Or if they got you an iPhone 5S instead of an iPhone 5C, the horror *shudders*

iLike2Teabag 27

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Thursday 6 February 2014 6:41

I think you have that the other way around. 5S > 5C

ffffffffck 13

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:14

Facebook has a way of rubbing things in. I hope this year will be better op!

soup_of_the_day 10

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:15

That sucks, but it could be worse: mine had my moms death from pancreatic cancer and then the $25k raised by my little sister in support of pancreatic cancer. Life is a roller coaster you have to take the lows with the highs.

ffffffffck 13

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:22

Sorry for your loss #8!

sdroze1389 31

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:29

sorry for that #8. that's way more serious than being dumped, and how wretched of fb. I hope people complain about that stupid idea, I've herd of a lot of people that had to be reminded of something terrible.

SammyS2012 21

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 18:50

not to be mean 16, but if someone put something online, how do they expect never to be reminded of it ever again? it's existing forever online. facebook used a generic formula to make the video and applied to everyone. dont like something on your profile? delete it. dont blame social media for what you put up. my best friend's video had pictures of her at prom with her ex boyfriend, but then right after, it showed her engagement, marriage, and her first born. it's part of life.

sdroze1389 31

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 21:00

#52. I can see your point, it doesn't really affect me anyway not using fb. I guess anytime fb catches flak I approve. kinda makes me a dickish instigator huh?

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Thursday 6 February 2014 2:17

They say that soon we'll get the option to edit & decide which pictures don't make the cut (my family members' deaths/ RIP posts), and maybe add those which do. I want to change a few too. Mine is now set to "Only me" in the privacy settings, & as soon as I can edit, I'll take what I hate down, then make it viewable. I like the idea, but just didn't like the pictures they chose. Keep your head up. If it's really bad, hopefully the option to change it comes sooner than later.

letsgooo_fml 23

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:21

To be fair, that could be because of all the comments or sympathy likes.

klorehore 24

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Wednesday 5 February 2014 9:22

I suppose (or hope) it was popular because people were showing you their love and support when you were having a tough time. It's a chapter that is over, and it is time to move on to better things. :) good luck op