Miscellaneous: Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was...

By MorganRox26 - Canada

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33465

You deserved it

3029

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Dementia or hate? You decide

BO Central

Seize the means of production

By elsaza - France

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32953

You deserved it

22402

Favorite

By cartrouble - United States

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40004

You deserved it

2834

Favorite

By hatesmellyfeet - United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28568

You deserved it

5024

Favorite

By Not Homeless - United States - Montclair

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39193

You deserved it

3354

Favorite

By drew_ar85 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36927

You deserved it

6663

Favorite

By me - United States - Katy

Today, we had a surprise test at school. I was totally unprepared for any of it, so I BSd the whole thing and turned it in. A few minutes later, our teacher said we were allowed to use our notes to finish the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19598

You deserved it

5903

Favorite

By difference between birds and mammals. - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26320

You deserved it

2738

Favorite

By nopissleft - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47898

You deserved it

2905

Favorite

By disaster... - United States

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71233

You deserved it

6579

Favorite

By BaldingQuick - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32481

You deserved it

2634

Favorite

By Tristan - 30/7/2020 02:01

Send message

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1203

You deserved it

305

Favorite

By TBaggins00 - United States

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14215

You deserved it

61551

Favorite

Where it is?

Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the deed when she suddenly said, "Hold on babe, I think my nose ring fell out." After she couldn't find it for a minute, she said "I'm sure it's on the bed somewhere." Immediately after that, she yelled, "OH MY GOD I JUST SWALLOWED IT." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1641

You deserved it

262

Favorite

By brittaneejanex - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36642

You deserved it

4609

Favorite

By Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28726

You deserved it

2574

Favorite

By RyanTheMan15 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10518

You deserved it

30767

Favorite

By jailbirdlove - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42577

You deserved it

4256

Favorite

By kandi - Philippines

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13383

You deserved it

79513

Favorite

By elizabethyeo - Australia

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10417

You deserved it

46132

Favorite

By JustMyLuck - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19880

You deserved it

51909

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33997

You deserved it

2405

Favorite

By Should I stay or go? - United States - Seattle

Today, I was supposed to hear from my supervisor about whether or not my company was going to be letting me go. I've been on continual probation for the last 6 months, waiting to hear when they'll decide. She'd said last Friday that I'd definitely hear from her today. It's now 5:30 p.m. She's gone home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6356

You deserved it

595

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/10/2020 21:02 - United States - Kirkland

Just a prank, bro!

Today my brother disconnected my internet and made my task bar disappear. I spent 2 hours trying to fix it, when I figured out I just had to restart the computer. Now I'm a little behind on assignments. FML

I agree, your life sucks

622

You deserved it

265

Favorite

By Anonymous - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35006

You deserved it

6004

Favorite

By Lightlysalted

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4153

You deserved it

200

Favorite

Today, while I was at the gym, I saw a guy walk into the girls locker room. I was walking nearby so I said, "Hey man, that's the wrong one." Turns out it was just a very masculine-looking woman, with a very masculine haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6743

You deserved it

2227

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sweden - Kristianstad

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39964

You deserved it

4410

Favorite

By outie - 13/9/2020 02:02

Genetics

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1456

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By anonymous - Australia - Rockdale

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36513

You deserved it

2959

Favorite

By fuckit - Italy - Rome

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30045

You deserved it

2470

Favorite

By Anonymous - Egypt - Cairo

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40266

You deserved it

3814

Favorite

By porkfriedlife - United States

Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35798

You deserved it

25664

Favorite

By Kml

Today, and like every year, my godmother sent me a card asking me why I never call her, and why we don't go out on my birthday. Six years ago, she told me on my birthday I was going to hell for moving with my boyfriend and then sprayed me with perfume. He is now my husband, and she claims she forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9356

You deserved it

687

Favorite

By cek4uytp - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44646

You deserved it

18547

Favorite

By Still No Ring - United States - Lisbon

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house with his family. A kitten walks over to me with an engagement ring tied to its collar and a note that says "Marry Me?" I got super excited, only to find out that it was for his brother's girlfriend of 10 months, not me. We've been together 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16840

You deserved it

1461

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33197

You deserved it

2726

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

22743

You deserved it

39601

Favorite

By Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50381

You deserved it

5109

Favorite

By katta2009 - United States

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36264

You deserved it

2572

Favorite

By icefly - United States - Orlando

Today, I've owned my dream car for 11 days. Someone backed into it while it parked at work, and drove away without leaving a note. A man at a nearby business knows who did it but won't tell me because it was one of his customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16325

You deserved it

1063

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By daydreamstar | 7

#747291 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:51

im sorry. *hug*

By xCrackerx | 3

#747334 - Thursday 31 December 2009 19:05

You must be the "friend" that no one really likes.

COMMENTS

By 123e3 | 0

#747289 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:50

well fuck them. get better friends

DreMaMa | 0

#747459 - Thursday 31 December 2009 20:15

Fuck Bitches Get MONEY.

NoNameForM3 | 0

#747579 - Thursday 31 December 2009 21:28

ummm maybe ur eyes were closed ?

LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 | 2

#747601 - Thursday 31 December 2009 21:40

MESSAGE ME FOR LOCKERZ INVITE!!1

LOCKERZ = FREE IPODS, GAMING SYSTEMS, GAMES, AND MOREEEE ALL FREE!!!!!!

Electric_Star | 0

#747740 - Thursday 31 December 2009 23:09

Rofl. I would take money over friends anyway. With enough money you could buy friends. I bet they would be just as fun to go clubbing with anyway. Unless I like, grew up with them or something. As for the OP, drop them.

hnurzaman | 0

#748183 - Friday 1 January 2010 3:51

what a fool question.. :D

By daydreamstar | 7

#747291 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:51

im sorry. *hug*

avdog | 0

#3807770 - Friday 30 December 2011 14:23

Disregard friends. Acquire currency lol
I feel bad for u

By rambles | 0

#747292 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:51

awwww thats sucks! just find some better friends.

By Icy_fml | 0

#747300 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:53

accident?

_Fleur_ | 0

#747329 - Thursday 31 December 2009 19:04

Yeah it could have been a mistake

Towelie_31 | 0

#747506 - Thursday 31 December 2009 20:49

how do you accidently crop someone out of a picture?

MzRodriquez95 | 0

#748147 - Friday 1 January 2010 3:15

Lmao Mercy does have a point I accidentally cropped my friend too (winks).

Starfire22 | 5

#749505 - Saturday 2 January 2010 0:54

Mercy is that why I'm cropped out of our s&m group pic? I knew it!:D

sgomfg | 1

#1014180 - Monday 31 May 2010 21:21

mercy u can crop photos directly in facebook u don't need Photoshop crap

By TylerFYL | 0

#747302 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:54

damn fyl

By pinktiger | 0

#747303 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:54

the picture probably just accidentally cropped you out..not the end of the world

Baron_Random | 0

#973980 - Sunday 4 April 2010 15:49

It's facebook, it was probably automatically cropped by the picture fitter.
As for #87, maybe you're describing yourself. You sound like a right asshole.

By mariexheartless | 0

#747304 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:54

:O:O omg i feel so bad for you .
you should get better friends . damn hoes .

By thinmint | 0

#747310 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:57

well that was rude

By Mz_CaRtER | 0

#747311 - Thursday 31 December 2009 18:58

Wowz i agree wit da pplz above me (sum) jus get betta friendz n if it really wuz "suppose" they could have fixed it sooo yea jus get betta friendz --simple.