Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was...

By MorganRox26 - 31/12/2010 16:52 - Canada

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

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Miscellaneous

Understandable

Last dates

Doomed

By lk mm, n vwls - 11/1/2014 01:20 - United States - Mansfield Depot

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

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By Harry Dare - 2/9/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

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By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/7/2012 16:04 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

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By Unwanted - 2/8/2012 06:50 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 08:30 - United States - Evergreen

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2013 18:32 - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

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By Sara - 25/2/2016 07:39 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I paid $50 to go to a war museum. It was so boring that I fell asleep standing up, lost my balance and faceplanted the floor right in front of our tour guide. FML

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By dammitrain - 13/7/2010 19:43 - United States

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

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By anonymous - 17/1/2010 16:22 - Austria

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/5/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

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By lonelyhubby - 8/7/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML

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By are you kidding me? - 10/3/2014 08:22 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

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By holycommander - 26/3/2013 20:20 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

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By negromancer - 11/7/2009 01:08 - United States

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

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By Anonymous - 9/5/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

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By paranoid - 6/6/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

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By cubs44fan - 4/3/2014 23:25 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML

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By stephanie - 28/9/2018 03:00

Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

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By jjjjjohn cena - 13/8/2015 01:44 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/10/2019 00:01

Sounds illegal

Today, I got a lot of tips at work, but little did I know our boss takes it out of our paychecks. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/12/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML

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By voicelesspeasant - 3/11/2016 20:41

Today, weeks after I paid extra for faster shipping, I received confirmation that my paperwork for overseas voting has been received. Too bad the deadline in my state was yesterday. Thanks, Postal Service, for the consistency of your failures. FML

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By bluntedone - 3/2/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

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By myusofwe - 6/2/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

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By BillLumberg - 3/2/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

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By UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too - 4/9/2013 21:14 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

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By RyanM - 10/3/2010 15:00 - France

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

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By painfulintercourse - 22/11/2010 19:36 - Canada

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

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By kittens go meow - 15/2/2012 00:35 - United States

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

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By this guy - 21/11/2013 05:27 - United States - Alhambra

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

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By awesome - 5/1/2012 17:13 - United States

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/7/2013 16:41 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

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By wtf - 3/2/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

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By peneloperigby - 3/2/2009 06:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

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By imbx - 13/4/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

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By annababyyyy - 10/11/2014 05:01 - United States - Rockville

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

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Top comments

By daydreamstar | 7

#747291 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:51

im sorry. *hug*

By xCrackerx | 3

#747334 - Thursday 31 December 2010 19:05

You must be the "friend" that no one really likes.

COMMENTS

By 123e3 | 0

#747289 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:50

well fuck them. get better friends

DreMaMa | 0

#747459 - Thursday 31 December 2010 20:15

Fuck Bitches Get MONEY.

NoNameForM3 | 0

#747579 - Thursday 31 December 2010 21:28

ummm maybe ur eyes were closed ?

LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 | 2

#747601 - Thursday 31 December 2010 21:40

MESSAGE ME FOR LOCKERZ INVITE!!1

LOCKERZ = FREE IPODS, GAMING SYSTEMS, GAMES, AND MOREEEE ALL FREE!!!!!!

Electric_Star | 0

#747740 - Thursday 31 December 2010 23:09

Rofl. I would take money over friends anyway. With enough money you could buy friends. I bet they would be just as fun to go clubbing with anyway. Unless I like, grew up with them or something. As for the OP, drop them.

hnurzaman | 0

#748183 - Friday 1 January 2010 3:51

what a fool question.. :D

By daydreamstar | 7

#747291 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:51

im sorry. *hug*

avdog | 0

#3807770 - Friday 30 December 2011 14:23

Disregard friends. Acquire currency lol
I feel bad for u

By rambles | 0

#747292 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:51

awwww thats sucks! just find some better friends.

By Icy_fml | 0

#747300 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:53

accident?

_Fleur_ | 0

#747329 - Thursday 31 December 2010 19:04

Yeah it could have been a mistake

Towelie_31 | 0

#747506 - Thursday 31 December 2010 20:49

how do you accidently crop someone out of a picture?

MzRodriquez95 | 0

#748147 - Friday 1 January 2010 3:15

Lmao Mercy does have a point I accidentally cropped my friend too (winks).

Starfire22 | 5

#749505 - Saturday 2 January 2010 0:54

Mercy is that why I'm cropped out of our s&m group pic? I knew it!:D

sgomfg | 1

#1014180 - Monday 31 May 2010 21:21

mercy u can crop photos directly in facebook u don't need Photoshop crap

By TylerFYL | 0

#747302 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:54

damn fyl

By pinktiger | 0

#747303 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:54

the picture probably just accidentally cropped you out..not the end of the world

Baron_Random | 0

#973980 - Sunday 4 April 2010 15:49

It's facebook, it was probably automatically cropped by the picture fitter.
As for #87, maybe you're describing yourself. You sound like a right asshole.

By mariexheartless | 0

#747304 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:54

:O:O omg i feel so bad for you .
you should get better friends . damn hoes .

By thinmint | 0

#747310 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:57

well that was rude

By Mz_CaRtER | 0

#747311 - Thursday 31 December 2010 18:58

Wowz i agree wit da pplz above me (sum) jus get betta friendz n if it really wuz "suppose" they could have fixed it sooo yea jus get betta friendz --simple.