By it's sharty time :/ - 02/07/2016 18:45 - United States - Bismarck

Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 503
You deserved it 1 766
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Top comments

Welshite 39

And you didn't even bring a spare. Strike one.

160 5
Tripartita 44

That's /barely/ a breach of trust, OP. The fart I hired to handle my personal finances is being investigated for tax fraud. It's so hard to find trustworthy farts nowadays.

140 11

Comments

kitsuneluvuh 12

I feel ya, dude.

0 5
EsotericAura 25

Well, I don't know about sharts, but you could try sphincter strengthening exercises to prevent you from randomly ******** yourself in the future. For extra measure you could also try kegels (and yes, both men and women can do kegels) to prevent your bladder from becoming a problem.

4 3
soulreaper12296 28

OP didn't just randomly shit their pants. They tried farting and instead ended up sharting.

5 1
EsotericAura 25

Yes, I understand the concept. But the way OP worded it "I'm only 25" makes it sound like they're worried that the lack of control of bodily functions that many older people experience is already becoming a problem for him/her. I was just suggesting a way to prevent this. It's easier to prevent the problem than it is to deal with the aftermath.

0 0
buckdharma 36

First, freeze a hot dog. You will need this later. Next, find a bowling ball with very large finger holes...

2 7
Catdragon 40

If you were a long time member of this site, you would know by now to never trust a fart. FYL, but you totally deserve it unless it was an unintentional fart

8 2
jimeple 12

Happened to me at a girlfriends house. We were sitting on her leather couch that I now own.

5 1
Le_ponderer 14

A suggestion to get rid of the evidence; you should wrap it in one of those small disposable polythene baggies (to lock in the smell); use wet towels to wipe down your ass, toss it all into an empty wax-sealed bag for fries and shove it into a garbage can. Do not be known as the next Makela. Sanitize your hands thereafter!

1 1
theflash2005 7

I have this problem due to a hereditary trait in my family. My tip to you is to wear compression shorts as underwear, and if it happens again, they won't stain and are can be washed out in a sink or something. Just a suggestion tho

3 1
RosaMaravillosa 10

it's probably something you ate. maybe a slight change in diet can help. f.i. I can't eat more than 1 egg a week or I let the most noxious smelling farts ever. haven't ever met my match. good luck, and don't forget. , shit happens!

1 1
manuwish 9

lesson for life OP, better sitting broken-hearted having tried to shit but only farted, than hold it in when nature calls, than sneak a fart and wind up with a shart :D haha

1 1