Work: Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a... - FML

By sparky83000 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25057

You deserved it

1434

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Taking stock

Family values

By Rizma - France - Gr?ces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34901

You deserved it

4541

Tweet

Share

By Chad - 6/11/2020 07:54 - United States - San Diego

Fire hydrant

Today, I was sleeping after having worked 76 hours over the last week on night shift, only to be woken up by a fire alarm in the hotel I'm staying in. I rushed to put on some clothes and head out, but couldn't hide my morning wood, which would not go away. People took pictures as we were waiting to be let back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1040

You deserved it

90

Tweet

Share

By tim12345 - United States

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33070

You deserved it

3552

Tweet

Share

By Howdoiwatchpoliticsnow - United States - Newton

Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10875

You deserved it

6466

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16160

You deserved it

39655

Tweet

Share

By loner - United States

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36546

You deserved it

4181

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24619

You deserved it

3176

Tweet

Share

By Clive81 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34236

You deserved it

10216

Tweet

Share

By shizzy09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66400

You deserved it

5103

Tweet

Share

By musicgod123 - France

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9076

You deserved it

44344

Tweet

Share

By Who1s269 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62083

You deserved it

8361

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my older, temporary coworker comments every time I yawn, sneeze, cough, leave my desk to use the restroom, and on what I eat at lunch, laughing the whole time. It’s driving me crazy. Only 8 more weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1904

You deserved it

142

Tweet

Share

By ohwell - United States

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

55132

You deserved it

17270

Tweet

Share

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only staying with me because I’m getting him a signed poster for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2143

You deserved it

175

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33463

You deserved it

2774

Tweet

Share

By neverunderstood - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9339

You deserved it

1388

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16582

You deserved it

57260

Tweet

Share

By IGotFinessed - United States - New Fairfield

Fortunately, she is gone

Today, I just realized that my ex-girlfriend has been using my credit card to buy condoms, beer, and dildos just to piss me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1772

You deserved it

532

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Gainesville

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28387

You deserved it

3136

Tweet

Share

By Will this stupid fad ever end? - United States

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35548

You deserved it

4964

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Thanks for that, dad!

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

2353

You deserved it

222

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17529

You deserved it

3599

Tweet

Share

By Bill - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28854

You deserved it

18051

Tweet

Share

By karaokestar - Canada

Today, I sang my signature tune at a karaoke bar - What A Wonderful World - and I thought I sounded my best yet. After my performance, I went outside to get some air. Then, I got assaulted in the parking lot and ended up going to the hospital. What a wonderful world indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57904

You deserved it

5509

Tweet

Share

By anon - Canada - Calgary

Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26125

You deserved it

1624

Tweet

Share

By laptopsRus - United States

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23870

You deserved it

45095

Tweet

Share

By Gabriela

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35675

You deserved it

5859

Tweet

Share

By countrygirl8846 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to pick up some pictures I took on a family trip, but the person at the counter said someone else had already picked them up. Now not only am I out $20, some random creep has pictures of me and my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22236

You deserved it

1497

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 10:05 - United States - Baton Rouge

Medically accurate

Today, I sprained my ankle badly at a volleyball game. I asked my coach for some athletic tape so I could get back in the game. She handed me duct tape and said that athletic tape and duct tape are basically the same. Getting duct tape off your sprained ankle hurts like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

985

You deserved it

156

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom - Buckie

Unmatched

Today, my girlfriend of three months broke up with me. Her reason? I'm "not interesting." I said things that might have led to a conversation, she would say "yeah" to everything. She argued about stuff I said that she didn't like; called my mates cunts; didn't let me have female mates. All her mates are lads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

852

You deserved it

227

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Yuma

Today, after buying hundreds of dollars worth of Christmas presents, my transmission blew up on the interstate heading home. Now, I either have to return the gifts or not drive over 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10215

You deserved it

954

Tweet

Share

By bertthelamb - United States

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47952

You deserved it

8451

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32958

You deserved it

3204

Tweet

Share

By Jusawkward - United States

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43538

You deserved it

4394

Tweet

Share

By bun593 - United States

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25180

You deserved it

16174

Tweet

Share

By devakii - United States

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35149

You deserved it

2284

Tweet

Share

By OneGirlsLife - United States - Spartanburg

Today, it was supposed to be my birthday dinner with two of my friends. They're both now bringing their boyfriends, so I get to be the fifth wheel to my own birthday dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4806

You deserved it

357

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Foxboro

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28092

You deserved it

7927

Tweet

Share

By cl512 - United States

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41912

You deserved it

2321

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12272

You deserved it

43456

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By _taylorharper_ | 18

#6448404 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:29

I'm convinced he's dropping things on purpose

By HollyQuinn | 21

#6448400 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

Fucking hell, looks like they need some more training. Or gloves with suction pads.

COMMENTS

By tipsy2013 | 24

#6448397 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:17

Must've been a smashing experience

By Vagitarian4life | 14

#6448398 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:19

You're coworker is a moron who should be avoided.

Reply

Pinkiss_fml | 21

#6448848 - Friday 30 October 2015 20:04

*your

Reply

Vagitarian4life | 14

#6449155 - Saturday 31 October 2015 5:14

You're absolutely correct. My bad.

Reply

Abatu | 4

#6449736 - Saturday 31 October 2015 21:49

not avoided
fired and barred from such work in the future

By Stillo | 25

#6448399 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

And was he OK?

By HollyQuinn | 21

#6448400 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

Fucking hell, looks like they need some more training. Or gloves with suction pads.

Reply

Le_ponderer | 14

#6448517 - Friday 30 October 2015 12:01

Or they need to get bitten by a radioactive spider! Spiderman was on a lot of scaffolding and was more often than not, able to retract whatever he dropped before it hits the ground or a person.

Reply

L4T1M3R | 5

#6451411 - Monday 2 November 2015 20:27

yeah everything except the girl he loved it that last movie

By Dominus101 | 19

#6448402 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:26

That's Really unfortunate OP, your Co worker aka butter fingers is definitely a Liability, i know accidents can happen but maybe they should be reassigned to working on the ground as to Not be such a hazard on the job site for now. Hope your hand heals soon

By MDoremis | 38

#6448403 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:28

I think that person needs to reconsider his line of work.

By _taylorharper_ | 18

#6448404 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:29

I'm convinced he's dropping things on purpose

Reply

snarkytruth | 37

#6448448 - Friday 30 October 2015 9:07

If the crew even slightly suspects he dropped stuff intentionally he my find himself the next thing dropped off the 4th floor!
???

By Marynfrankie | 19

#6448405 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:30

Sounds like a real clutz lol

By KatieKoala | 19

#6448407 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:34

Wow, sounds as clumsy as I am. Hope your hand gets better soon!

By amileah13 | 26

#6448410 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:36

Holy shit I would get away from him as fast as I could at least nowhere near under him. Hope you both are okay