Work: Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a... - FML

By sparky83000 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

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BO Central

There's no helping some people

Good kid

By mac cayne - France - Strasbourg

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

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By metalmeow

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

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By Anonymous

Time for a BBQ

Today, my friend hit a bird with her car. She asked me to get it off for her, so I reluctantly complied. It came off. In pieces. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

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By Anonymous - 15/3/2021 00:30

Ghosted

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years ghosted me without a word and acted like he didn't know my friend when she texted him. FML

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By fat teen - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 11:02 - United States - Kenton

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Today, I had a family reunion and there were a lot of people there that I didn't know. The person that I'd been sleeping with for about 7 months showed up. He's my cousin. FML

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By Nomoreballs - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

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By Anonymous - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

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By charliemann_ - United States

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

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By 3 More Months - United States - Stanford

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

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By allgrowedup - United States

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

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By Anonymous

Poor me

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

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By oh no - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

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By thanks_world - United States - Everett

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

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By cjk004 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/2/2021 08:01

No, you do it!

Today, despite being hearing impaired, I just spent an hour on the phone with Comcast setting up my mom's internet, because my sister who hears fine is "too busy." FML

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By bakerysux - United States - San Antonio

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

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By scarred for life - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

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By humiliated - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

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By angkal2002 - Australia

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

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By not helping - 17/9/2020 17:02 - United States

Co-parenting

Today, I confiscated my daughter’s tablet, phone and laptop after I caught her exchanging nudes with boys. My ex then called me in a rage, threatening to take me to court over “stealing his belongings” since he purchased them. No concern for our daughter’s behavior, just him wanting the stuff. FML

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By Unknown - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

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By jobless

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

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By Anonymous

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

Today, after showering and moisturising, I turned my fan on to max blast. I got covered in clumps of dust, which I had to take another shower to remove. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML

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By face - United States

NO SNACKS

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

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By Elsine

Today, after having to move home with my parents because I'm broke and can't seem to find a job, my mom found out I'm on anti-depressants. She and my dad will no longer be helping with money because she doesn't like "drugs". FML

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By paintfarts1976 - Ireland - Mullingar

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

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By Scaredshitless - France

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

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By adopted - United States - New York

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

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By sparkyjaf - Australia - West Pymble

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

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By TheLifguard95 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought that working as a lifeguard I would be saving lives, rescuing people and things along those lines. What do I get told to do on my first shift? Clean all the fecal matter and hair out the pool. I almost threw up. FML

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By some people... - United States

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

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By creepedout - United States - San Francisco

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

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By JackAttack - United States

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I asked my friend to hand in my homework for me since I have tonsillitis. She thought it would be funny to draw a big heart on it with my teacher's name inside, which she then handed in. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, my younger brother, who still lives in our parents' basement and has never held a job in his life, announced that his girlfriend is pregnant with their third child. I'm a college graduate living on my own and I've never even had sex. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

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Top comments

By _taylorharper_ | 18

#6448404 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:29

I'm convinced he's dropping things on purpose

By HollyQuinn | 21

#6448400 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

Fucking hell, looks like they need some more training. Or gloves with suction pads.

COMMENTS

By tipsy2013 | 24

#6448397 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:17

Must've been a smashing experience

By Vagitarian4life | 14

#6448398 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:19

You're coworker is a moron who should be avoided.

Reply

Pinkiss_fml | 21

#6448848 - Friday 30 October 2015 20:04

*your

Reply

Vagitarian4life | 14

#6449155 - Saturday 31 October 2015 5:14

You're absolutely correct. My bad.

Reply

Abatu | 4

#6449736 - Saturday 31 October 2015 21:49

not avoided
fired and barred from such work in the future

By Stillo | 25

#6448399 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

And was he OK?

By HollyQuinn | 21

#6448400 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

Fucking hell, looks like they need some more training. Or gloves with suction pads.

Reply

Le_ponderer | 14

#6448517 - Friday 30 October 2015 12:01

Or they need to get bitten by a radioactive spider! Spiderman was on a lot of scaffolding and was more often than not, able to retract whatever he dropped before it hits the ground or a person.

Reply

L4T1M3R | 5

#6451411 - Monday 2 November 2015 20:27

yeah everything except the girl he loved it that last movie

By Dominus101 | 20

#6448402 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:26

That's Really unfortunate OP, your Co worker aka butter fingers is definitely a Liability, i know accidents can happen but maybe they should be reassigned to working on the ground as to Not be such a hazard on the job site for now. Hope your hand heals soon

By MDoremis | 38

#6448403 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:28

I think that person needs to reconsider his line of work.

By _taylorharper_ | 18

#6448404 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:29

I'm convinced he's dropping things on purpose

Reply

snarkytruth | 37

#6448448 - Friday 30 October 2015 9:07

If the crew even slightly suspects he dropped stuff intentionally he my find himself the next thing dropped off the 4th floor!
???

By Marynfrankie | 19

#6448405 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:30

Sounds like a real clutz lol

By KatieKoala | 19

#6448407 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:34

Wow, sounds as clumsy as I am. Hope your hand gets better soon!

By amileah13 | 26

#6448410 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:36

Holy shit I would get away from him as fast as I could at least nowhere near under him. Hope you both are okay