Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a... - FML

By sparky83000 - 29/10/2015 20:51 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

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Boozehound

Caught red-handed

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

By ineedanotherdrink - 7/8/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

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By Lasko - 12/8/2009 19:37 - United States

Today, I found out that just because you collapse from dehydration on the sidewalk, it doesn't mean people are going to stop driving to see if you're okay, even if they saw you fall. FML

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By frustratedandunderpaid - 9/6/2015 01:47 - Canada - Sackville

Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML

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By allyshah - 20/2/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2018 23:37

Today, I had a CT scan done after hitting my head, for fear of a concussion. Good news: no concussion. Bad news: the tumor they "accidentally" found. FML

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By Alex White - 2/5/2016 16:50 - Canada - Westerose

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/5/2013 16:48 - Norway

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

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By Almost_Homeless - 23/4/2014 12:43 - Canada - London

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/4/2015 04:04 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

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By SailorVenus93 - 20/3/2020 06:00

Be reasonable, people

Today, at work, I was told at the beginning of my shift that we would be enforcing a 4-item limit on hand sanitizer, toilet paper, etc. Not even 20 minutes later, I had 2 customers bitch me out. This is going to be a long shift, if not year. FML

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By cocacoola - 11/7/2011 14:24 - Iceland

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

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By xBubbles38 - 18/7/2011 15:17 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

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By insearch4i - 22/1/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

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By Username - 8/7/2011 06:12 - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/8/2012 18:33 - United States - Auburn

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

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By Mc'xplosive - 9/10/2019 04:00

McGastric

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2014 04:30 - United States - Olney

Today, my car got towed. My money is in my car and they won't let me open my car to get money until my car is "released". FML

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By notthebesttime - 13/10/2012 12:04

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, I learned I have over $10,000 in debt, despite never owning a credit card. Apparently, my ex-roommate had been replying to the credit card offers I was receiving in the mail. That also explains my missing driver's license a few months back. FML

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By Liz0352 - 8/11/2018 04:30 - United States - Bainbridge Island

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

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By Single - 7/8/2010 11:01 - France

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

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By Spotted - 18/2/2009 22:09 - Canada

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

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By shorty - 11/4/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, I found out that if I were 2 inches shorter, I would have to sit in a booster seat in the car. I'm about to turn 22. FML

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By deez_nutz - 10/3/2009 12:46 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

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By Well, shit - 18/1/2016 22:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 18:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2011 10:50 - United States

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

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By annoyed - 10/2/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

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By mom - 26/1/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

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By Blah - 30/3/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

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By Dez - 26/11/2017 19:00 - United States - Anchorage

Apparently not.

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend texted me asking, “We are in an open relationship, right?” FML

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By sunboy52 - 5/5/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

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By adjk90 - 16/12/2010 17:06 - United States

Today, I was helping a customer when she asked if we were open on Christmas eve. I wasn't sure, so I asked my manager. My manager looked me over and said, "Yes, we will be open. Thank you for volunteering to come in." FML

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By suckstobeme - 12/4/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

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By contracted - 22/8/2016 05:49 - United States - Concord

Today, I received a letter telling me I'm not qualified for a job I've been unofficially doing for the last three years. It's the fourth letter I've gotten since applying. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to train the new person who got the job instead of me. FML

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By iHateWorms - 23/12/2009 03:52 - Australia

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

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By anonymous - 17/11/2011 20:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

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By Cindy - 20/3/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

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Top comments

By _taylorharper_ | 18

#6448404 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:29

I'm convinced he's dropping things on purpose

By HollyQuinn | 21

#6448400 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

Fucking hell, looks like they need some more training. Or gloves with suction pads.

Comments

By tipsy2013 | 24

#6448397 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:17

Must've been a smashing experience

By Vagitarian4life | 14

#6448398 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:19

You're coworker is a moron who should be avoided.

Reply

Pinkiss_fml | 21

#6448848 - Friday 30 October 2015 20:04

*your

Reply

Vagitarian4life | 14

#6449155 - Saturday 31 October 2015 5:14

You're absolutely correct. My bad.

Reply

Abatu | 4

#6449736 - Saturday 31 October 2015 21:49

not avoided
fired and barred from such work in the future

By Stillo | 25

#6448399 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

And was he OK?

By HollyQuinn | 21

#6448400 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:23

Fucking hell, looks like they need some more training. Or gloves with suction pads.

Reply

Le_ponderer | 14

#6448517 - Friday 30 October 2015 12:01

Or they need to get bitten by a radioactive spider! Spiderman was on a lot of scaffolding and was more often than not, able to retract whatever he dropped before it hits the ground or a person.

Reply

L4T1M3R | 5

#6451411 - Monday 2 November 2015 20:27

yeah everything except the girl he loved it that last movie

By Dominus101 | 18

#6448402 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:26

That's Really unfortunate OP, your Co worker aka butter fingers is definitely a Liability, i know accidents can happen but maybe they should be reassigned to working on the ground as to Not be such a hazard on the job site for now. Hope your hand heals soon

By MDoremis | 38

#6448403 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:28

I think that person needs to reconsider his line of work.

By _taylorharper_ | 18

#6448404 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:29

I'm convinced he's dropping things on purpose

Reply

snarkytruth | 37

#6448448 - Friday 30 October 2015 9:07

If the crew even slightly suspects he dropped stuff intentionally he my find himself the next thing dropped off the 4th floor!
???

By Marynfrankie | 19

#6448405 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:30

Sounds like a real clutz lol

By KatieKoala | 19

#6448407 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:34

Wow, sounds as clumsy as I am. Hope your hand gets better soon!

By amileah13 | 26

#6448410 - Friday 30 October 2015 7:36

Holy shit I would get away from him as fast as I could at least nowhere near under him. Hope you both are okay