Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML
Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up. When the nurse took my blood pressure, I passed out, and fell off the table. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
No! Anything but the organs! How will we play church music :o
j_cat187 20
*Pulls out chainsaw. We all know your intentions.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
benmec 18
I got first dibs on the liver!!!
Ugi 27
You have to see why they might be worried! I hear there's quite a market in pre-loved kidneys!
bwzwally8 15
I'm pretty sure that would kill them...
emtman 6
I'm a paramedic. That's not gonna be the last time something like that happens.
lainie75 3
I'm an EMT also, and I've said some pretty crazy stuff too especially at the end of a 24 hour shift.
buckdharma 38
zombie paramedics. omg the apocalypse has started.
dunebro 15
Nice trolling.
laden_swallow09 35
With Oct 31 in two days, it's appropriate.
skyeyez9 25
Black market Organ trafficking is apparently very profitable.
NagainaFier 16
Nathan Wallace, is that you? I thought you died!
coroala 8
No, this is Patrick!