Work: Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her... - FML

By bakerysux - United States - San Antonio

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

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Every little helps

Sick burn

Fragile

By sheridan.ashley - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

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By fmexgirlfriend - New Zealand

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML

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By Peachtree

Today, I learned that the super cute guy I've been dating for the last 4 weeks is a total gross slob. His house was like a garbage skip, literally ankle deep in garbage, pizza boxes, old crud, and filth. It stank of cat urine and there was poop residue in his toilet bowl. FML

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By imobesejk - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

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By bluskyz1979 - United States - Cypress

Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

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By kumbuck3t15 - Mexico - Distrito Federal

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

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By GotPunched - Finland

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

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By carboncoach - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

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By love-shot - United States - Hays

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an important powerpoint presentation for ALL the big execs at work. It seems that during my lunch break, my boyfriend IMed me on my mac saying "Feeling so horny right now, come home for a quicky like last week?" I didn't see it until the presentation. So did the executives. FML

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By Laura_2118 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML

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By Stressed out mom

Incognito IRL

Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML

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By passedoutpolly - United States

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

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By Gary

Today, after countless failed rejections and derision from women, I've realized that the only time I experience any sort of happiness is when I'm eating. They say there's someone out there for all of us, but maybe that's not true. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

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By snowbunny - United States

Today, I got snowed in. At work. FML

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By Ashley

Fire…?

Today, two out of our three smoke detectors were going off. My grandpa won't call the fire department because he thinks our house will be condemned. The alarms are still going off. FML

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By ouch - United States

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

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By Lonile13 - Philippines

Today, after 2 years and 5 months, my boyfriend finally found my clitoris. FML

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By "princessmia" - United States - Sequim

Felt so bad

Today, my little brother played my phone, and then accidentally sent a nude photo of mine to our step-dad, and now I have to spend all day with him and my mom on a road trip. FML

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By dentallycorrect - United States

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

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By anon - United States

Quickshot

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

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By ewww - 5/7/2020 17:01

Got game

Today, I went to visit my grandma at her old folks’ home. The soup she got for lunch was cold so I took it to the dining room to heat it up. As I put it in the microwave, a slow clap started behind me. I had to stand and wait for soup to heat while being wolf-whistled by a bunch of grandpas. FML

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By Lyn - France

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

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By kristine29 - United States

Today, I went for a job interview I scheduled 3 weeks ago. I spent $200 on a new suit to really impress them and practised like crazy every imaginable question they could ask. They already had filled the position 2 weeks ago and forgot to inform me. FML

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By mmaisie - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a 2000 word essay on "Las Vegas - The City That Never Sleeps". I was proud of my work, until someone pointed out that New York is "The City That Never Sleeps", not Vegas. FML

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By rochellamaya - Canada

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

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By Mikabe - Sweden

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

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By EconM - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

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By Samantha35

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turn around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

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By Time for a haircut - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

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By MarMar - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

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By farksh - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Good boy

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food and continue cuddling. FML

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By Chris - United States - Lakewood

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

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By Rachel - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

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Top comments

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6151995 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:49

Fads are so weird. First people were wearing faded jeans and now they want faded cakes too? SMH

By GrinchFu1 | 27

#6152003 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:58

Sell her the display cake... It's obviously as bright as she is.

COMMENTS

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6151995 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:49

Fads are so weird. First people were wearing faded jeans and now they want faded cakes too? SMH

By carecow | 16

#6151996 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:50

Maybe she's under the impression that cake ages like a fine wine..

Reply

kerstileann | 26

#6152075 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 13:09

Wine aged = better
Cake aged = disgusting and molded to hell

Reply

mommy2cassidy | 18

#6152176 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 16:33

I don't like making the thumbs up an even number but I had to thumbs up your comment.

Reply

shutupshane12 | 12

#6152577 - Wednesday 24 December 2014 2:04

And that was a waste of commenting space #20.
Aged cake- not very good

Reply

blamemysister | 1

#6153516 - Thursday 25 December 2014 5:21

Or perhaps a fine sort of cheese, but definitely not cheesecake.

By lex1459 | 38

#6151997 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:51

It's the holidays, everyone goes insane. Tell her she should have ordered it a month ago. Good luck, OP!

Reply

vikky538 | 28

#6152090 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 13:41

that would have made sense to the customer...lol..

By drayloon | 50

#6151998 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:51

The customer is not always right. But we all apparently have to pretend they are to keep the business going

Reply

ShannonBitt | 29

#6152686 - Wednesday 24 December 2014 5:10

when I started my job, I had to watch a video and it said "the customer isn't always right, but the customer always has to win"

By ItsAlly | 20

#6152000 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:55

Well getting her to accept that should be a piece of cake, then. Since she's crying even though she's already been warned.

By tranced_ | 44

#6152002 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:57

time to replace that cake you placed for display
. .

By GrinchFu1 | 27

#6152003 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:58

Sell her the display cake... It's obviously as bright as she is.

By iswearimhuman | 12

#6152014 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 12:12

Oh, the poor woman! My heart bleeds for her.

Ah, only in the USA. #whitewomanproblems

Reply

Arwen_Evenstar | 37

#6152018 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 12:14

More like #firstworldproblems or #middleclassproblems - stupid comes in all races.

Reply

iswearimhuman | 12

#6152026 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 12:16

True, can't argue with that.

By nataliewby | 25

#6152017 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 12:14

How does she expect you to exactly replicate a cake you made a month ago?

By Vegetarian27 | 24

#6152053 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 12:40

Not to sound like the bad guy, but if she wanted the cake to look like the display one, why didn't you just make it in a faded colour? (I'm assuming that the colour was the icing, rather than the cake itself).

Reply

Econforthwin | 15

#6152072 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 13:05

I'm willing to bet the display cake is dried out and that is a hard look to capture with fresh new cake.

Reply

killerdana | 19

#6152805 - Wednesday 24 December 2014 9:08

She said she explained it to the woman when she placed her order. That's a pretty ridiculous thing to cry about