Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
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Top comments
GreenMonster68 11
It had to be done
slayertack 19
Your uncle's awesome.
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Comments (150)
Ilovevortexklown 5
Whoop whoop! It was worth it
Poetaster 10
Kicked out? By who? A 15 year old life guard? Ha!!!
iBanana 17
I'm so far into this list of comments that I forgot which FML story I'm on.
Rexzing 2
does anybody know what op means? (sorry I'm new to FML)
chanelvander 7
Original poster :)
Obey_StudBoii 23
Welcome to FML. Where grammar nazis live, and if ya can't take the heated sarcasm back out while you can. Have a great day!
bandeek 30
At least they told you what OP stands for. Most people get told it stands for orangutan piss or something similar to that.
Bloink 25
The kid was bullying the rest of the pool, you were only defending yourselves
CyrusKhane 1
Your uncle should've tossed you in the pool and held you under til you stopped squirming. YDI, Juggacunt.
schadenfreud 6
the fact that 14 other people wanted the name juggaloslasher is stranger than the actual fml
Fluffasuars_Rawr 15
Mine and my dads roommate is a Juggalo...he listens to creepy clown something music. Very annoying...
FelicityWishes 32
I would have left that to a lifeguard or the kids parents.
Caitie_kid 8
Obviously the parents don't give a damn about being parents if they're not watching their kid at the pool.
SimplyAshleii 11
Your Uncle is Awesome. Some kids need to learn that public property is to be shared by everyone.
bboyhomie 13
The real story is: he had just witnessed his family die in a car crash, so severe in which he lost his hearing,then out of spite he ran to the nearest public place