Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
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Top comments
GreenMonster68 11
It had to be done
slayertack 19
Your uncle's awesome.
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Comments (150)
Brak_Spaceman 19
YDI for having a name with juggalo in it.
ewv023 7
As a lifeguard myself, I think that whoever was on duty should obviously have been paying attention, as sitting on a diving board is typically against the rules. But OP, YDI. Next time a lifeguard is doing a shitty job, tell them the problem and let them take care of it, instead of getting yourself kicked out for bullying.
WhimsicalMusings 11
Yes, they should have informed a lifeguard, but I would imagine that someone sitting on a diving board would be fairly obvious, to say the least (unless the pool was a large complex). She/he really should have been trained to notice these things. And, apparently, OP didn't do anything but talk to the kid - it was the uncle that attacked him. Throwing two people out when only one was guilty of anything is another suggestion that whoever was on duty wasn't particularly good at their job. Either the lifeguard saw the whole event and chose to ignore the kid breaking the rules, or they didn't see anything until after the kid had been kicked and didn't bother figuring out what happened.
freezeangel 11
if only people wouldn't spoil their kids so much these daya
Raivyn_Grimm 9
Ok ok ok. Everyone here that is hating on the OP is saying varying degrees of "you should never kick someone else's kid!" My opinion on that matter isn't relevant. All that is relevant is that you all read the fricking thing and notice IT WAS HER UNCLE. And honestly, If my uncle (or anyone for that matter) said "I got this!" in this kind of situation, I never would have expected them to go punt the kid. So how is it OP's fault? Hate on the uncle if you're going to go with the "holier than thou" mindset.
natas_fml 13
You deserve it for wearing clown makeup and being perplexed by magnets.
azhang1066 12
Your uncle is the best. That would totally be worth it.
azisles02 17
How come the lifeguards didn't get the kid of the diving board? Sounds like that pool needs have a staff evaluation.
ViviMage 40
I would have tried to use the board anyway! You can jump on the board to lower it without falling in. Your FML is worded awesome! The Uncle, not so awesome!
xRezSynn 15
...wow...your uncle...
SolarFlare 20
that kid deserved that!