Kids: Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try...

By DeeElleGee - 14/11/2009 00:09 - Canada

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 201

You deserved it 6 087

Kids

Taking stock

Another great day to be alive

Hey y'all!

See you soon

By CoffeeBoy - 06/11/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to meet a potential client at Starbucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 123

You deserved it 6 461

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 09:01 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it was one of those rare occasions I wore shorts. The first thing my male cousin said was, "Why so sexy?” Misogyny is why I don’t wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 648

By loser - 19/10/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 452

You deserved it 34 747

By Anonymous - 11/01/2014 02:25 - United States

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 883

You deserved it 9 586

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 043

You deserved it 3 522

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 115

You deserved it 8 962

By storyofmylife - 23/02/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 413

You deserved it 3 985

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 480

You deserved it 39 257

Bitch ass move

By Anonymous - 26/06/2020 05:05

Today, my partner and I had bought a short bus to convert to an RV, which is done and we are now ready to move in. That night, after I’m fully out of my place, she informs me she has feelings for my roommate and it’s something she must explore. I'm now homeless and they are traveling around in the conversion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 264

You deserved it 5 957

WTF dude?

By 4evalone - 22/04/2016 18:06 - United States

Today, the man I love, who broke my heart by leaving me a few months ago, showed up to a family event and pulled off the most elaborate, romantic proposal I've ever seen. He was proposing to my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 278

You deserved it 1 643

By dammit - 10/08/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 310

You deserved it 4 367

Did you get your shots?

By It_gets_better - 02/12/2021 04:59

Today, my 75 year-old grandparents, who stubbornly refuse to be vaccinated, asked me to pick up their meds after they got COVID. I left work early to avoid the pharmacy line. After dropping them off, their pharmacy called: they didn't give me all of the meds, so I had to go back and wait another two hours in line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 177

By eliteslayer29 - 21/12/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 448

You deserved it 42 814

By bruh_im18 - 17/09/2016 16:18 - United States - Metairie

Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 954

You deserved it 2 549

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 02:55 - United States - Hebron

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 812

You deserved it 16 299

By Anonymous - 22/10/2012 10:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 373

You deserved it 1 885

By ... - 12/03/2009 18:57 - France

Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said "Look who finally decided to come to work." His response: "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 27 270

By RDMdragoon - 13/07/2009 11:16 - United States

Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her with her now boyfriend in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 971

You deserved it 4 513

By OnlyAvailableID - 08/02/2015 08:35 - Australia

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 994

You deserved it 3 659

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 410

You deserved it 13 053

By Anonymous - 30/05/2011 08:28 - Australia

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 154

You deserved it 11 866

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 746

You deserved it 3 386

By Noname - 17/02/2009 08:30 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 807

You deserved it 13 422

Toxic

By makeupsex - 14/02/2012 11:25 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 144

You deserved it 5 219

By ConfusedDad - 29/12/2013 07:01 - United States

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 58 912

By Anonymous - 11/02/2010 00:03 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 925

You deserved it 8 787

By love_to_live - 28/07/2012 04:17 - United States - Waupun

Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 784

You deserved it 22 449

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 530

You deserved it 3 990

By greek_dancer - 13/07/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 762

You deserved it 46 353

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 344

You deserved it 1 887

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 10:38 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 442

You deserved it 25 387

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 20:46 - Canada

Today, I found out that my estranged daughter has been married for five years. I wasn't told of or invited to their wedding, and the only reason I know now is because she needs money for a divorce lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 107

You deserved it 4 813

Honesty doesn't pay

By Hayls5 - 04/07/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the man's house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us, "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 5 993

By Diesel - 03/05/2011 14:23 - Belgium

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 377

You deserved it 4 572

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 16:21 - United States - Dayton

Today, I'm seven months pregnant and going to college. I had to use the bathroom, but all of the bathrooms at my building were closed, so I had to walk to the next building, a block away. I didn't make it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 775

You deserved it 2 034

By DarrenP - 03/08/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 140

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 343

By jquaw - 28/09/2014 17:12 - Canada - Brockville

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 560

You deserved it 6 154

By Got_any_grapes1 - 11/04/2011 17:23 - United States

Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 346

You deserved it 20 191

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:09

In 15 years, she's gonna be jacked like a motherfucker and wear lumberjack clothing.

Mc09toofine 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:06

don't feel bad!! lol it's the mom's fault maybe she should let the kid grow longer hair or somethin!

Mc09toofine 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:06

don't feel bad!! lol it's the mom's fault maybe she should let the kid grow longer hair or somethin!

neonokku 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 21:10

i like this fml its funny and the kid seemed not to mind that much..

dudeitsdanny 9

Send a private message

Sunday 15 November 2009 0:33

Depends on the age. If you shaved the heads of every 5 year old in the country, you might not be able to tell their gender apart with all their clothes on.

authorkid 2

Send a private message

Monday 22 March 2010 23:36

Danny, u look like my cousin

Fireashes250 16

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 July 2013 22:46

This happened to me once when I was talking to a mom who had a kid that had shoulder length hair. I called him a "her" and I was embarrassed when I learned the truth.

Dear_Karma 27

Send a private message

Monday 28 December 2015 21:06

Maybe the kid doesn't want long hair asshole

potatomus62 19

Send a private message

Sunday 17 January 2016 10:07

You would be surprised how much this happens to me as a 13 year old girl with really short hair. I don't agree with #1 cause anyone can feel free to express them self how they choose, it may be very confusing sometimes but damn is it funny to see the look on peoples faces when they get it wrong.

allmidnighteyes 10

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:09

In 15 years, she's gonna be jacked like a motherfucker and wear lumberjack clothing.

allisha 7

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:13

xD happened to me before...but FYL and F"H"L ha "his"..."her" ....lol

dudeitsdanny 9

Send a private message

Sunday 15 November 2009 0:28

My sister used to have short hair, and when we'd go somewhere without my mom and I bought something, people would ask me what my "little brother" wanted. She laughs about it now.

MagicMeds 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:21

Yes your life is terrible OP

tonkaburner 2

Send a private message

Tuesday 12 July 2011 6:10

It's terrible because you can't spell!!!

saviisneat 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:22

I wish I knew what the kid looked like. I once saw a boy with the longest, curliest blond hair. It was GORGEOUS. But he was a 10 year old boy. (The parents were total weirdos). If the kid has short hair like a boy I can see how you would say that, but if the kid had long hair then I don't know what to tell you.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Send a private message

Sunday 15 November 2009 1:02

"The parents were total weirdoes" = you are close-minded and possibly a redneck.

Plumppotato 3

Send a private message

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:41

or the parents were weirdos

WhatANoob 0

Send a private message

Saturday 27 March 2010 4:44

LOL 54 is made of pure win

dioxyde420 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 29 June 2010 19:54

shut up, redneck.

Carbonchild 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:23

No biggie. Little ones can easily be mistaken.

24788 6

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:35

You worry too much. I have done this too many people at work before. I learned not to say anything.

Antivirus_fml 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 10:06

OH WOW! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD! YOUR LIFE IS RUINED! F(MY)LIFE!

blastvortex 3

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 10:08

Haha. That's nothing. Now what really sucks is when someone says, "Excuse me, Miss," and you happen to be a guy. I would know. xD Get real, OP - yours isn't the FML.

xFaust_fml 12

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 11:02

I have a friend who's often mistaken for a girl and who has short hair... stop being so judgemental. Even though mullets ARE indeed atrocious. And long hair can look good on some guys.

andyroxs 2

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 16:20

Yeah, this website is definately "MLIA" dude you stoned or what? YEAHH IM 34th!!!!

artistsrendering 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 20:41

That happens to me all the time at work. I don't care, just gives me an excuse to ignore them and walk away haha.

StaticDown 0

Send a private message

Saturday 14 November 2009 10:16

Yeah, agreeing with posters above, little kids are often mistaken... When I went to the hospital to visit my sister and I went to the section with all the babies... Without the blue and red tags... I never would have guessed for most of them... How's your life fucked though? You just guessed a gender wrong in a kid, not something to feel fucked about... I actually thought a person my age was a guy from the haircut.... Turns out it was a lesbian but she really looked like a boy... I felt awkward but that was it...