Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
Today, I think I had a mini orgasm when the baker told me that the chocolate croissant I'd just chosen was still warm. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML
Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
So, what did he serve you? His **** on a plate?
DocBastard 40
Cum on, I refuse to believe that you suck so much that something like this spewed out of your mouth. If it did, that truly blows. If not, it's definitely a load of horseshit, your head isn't screwed on right, and you should get in your Hummer and go down the street to the spa for a facial.
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Comments (127)
Stoshman5 0
Omfg thts awsome. "um waiter I'll have another plz"
MusicLover1o1_fml 0
Lol I saw that one cumming! FYL
MissxTickles 0
I want to know which restaurant so I can order one too lol
Copernicus_fml 3
I'll second that.
lionheart822 13
I think it might be the Cheesecake Factory. lol
princess_patches 2
could really careless what you think about my spelling....its the thought that counts.
grashopper8 7
um you are awesome did you know that? they should just re-name the dessert. :)
xxBrokenHeartxx 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHA ftw^
Alexxcunningham 0
as in the words of fabolous in start it up, "she got a appetite for dick, I guess her place my crotch"
Emerant 0
I think that too! Its horrible when you're with a family member. I hate ordering. :P
Emerant 0
Whoops. Ignore.
Wolfpackcg_98 0
The only way you could have mixed up ****** with satisfaction is if you were thinking of an ****** at the time..so were you ;)
Bob65803 0
was that a 'double entendre'?