Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I was accidently stabbed in the shin with a pen, right before a long weekend. It will need stitches. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
Show your switch blade skills on his face.
GhettoXmuffin 7
This is why I'm not having kids
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Comments (139)
juwon410 1
Didn't your ma tell you not to play with knives in front of childern
blair_x 12
Ask the kid to give you lessons.
Okayitwasme 0
Little kids and old people. The only ones who are excused from being responsible for their actions.
xSonic 9
People are too serious nowadays.....uh oh now my comment's gonna get buried ?
SugaryTears 0
That's horrible. Kids can be so stupid. It sickens me that some of them only think about themselves, and don't understand that their actions may affect people in negative ways.
Llamacod 11
Damn, that's one hell of a rubber band
Llamacod 11
C'mon now, we can't go around tabbing people just because we're a little upset
bizarre_ftw 22
Sue the kid, you won't get much but you'll freak the damn shit out of him when the cops show up
Llamacod 11
Uhh, cops don't come for suing, at most your lawyer hires someone to serve papers
grasshopper02 2
Well if you play with knives for a living, I'm guessing this won't be the first or last time you get stitches.
2ndSucks 15
Thank you, 104! Stabbing would be much more rational.