Intimacy: Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag...

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 05:43 - United States

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 601

You deserved it 2 921

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Same thing different taste

By wildwonder808 - 12/08/2013 22:47 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 430

You deserved it 8 075

That Netflix show

By Imnotfromhere - 30/05/2021 08:01

Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 97

Thanks!

By leem - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Belgium - Zoersel

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 900

You deserved it 3 278

By Caught - 11/11/2010 13:34 - United States

Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 43 225

Disappointed

By Lonelyhopeful - 05/12/2016 20:08

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 676

You deserved it 1 007

Ouch

By Zaak - 25/03/2018 06:00

Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 644

You deserved it 6 676

By Anonymous - 13/09/2014 14:39 - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 322

You deserved it 5 088

Bought or stolen

By dump truck hater - 03/06/2015 16:18 - United States - Austin

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 2 228

Introductions

By Mayshod - 03/05/2011 12:04

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 235

You deserved it 2 808

By mickstinator - 25/06/2009 15:37 - United States

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 291

You deserved it 7 237

Judus_beej 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 12:44

you should have said depends on the size. the smaller the more costly and by the sounds of it you need to get a loan from the bank.

rave_noises 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 12:23

He sounds fun. Invite him over for tea and crumpets.

Comments

Mirorbo 26

Thursday 2 December 2010 12:58

Classy....

sexieeduck 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 13:08

oh come on .. give him his house warming gift ;D

harbqll 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 13:09

Were you dressed like a ***** at the time? Maybe he sa

harbqll 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 13:11

Maybe he saw you on the sidewalk and thought you were working.

akaashR 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 13:24

well atleast you'll get action

W4X 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 14:02

No Suckie Suckie long time? You suck.

m31976 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 14:10

love thy neighbour.... ;)

Sh0rtiRunner 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:46

*neighbor

Iskaria 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 14:24

Who wants to bet the neighbour isn't actually a pervert, it's just that OP was dressed like a streetwalker :P?

Quest_ 13

Thursday 2 December 2010 14:38

Yeah, women are usually to blame for their own sexual harassment.

rusrsbrah 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 16:53

exactly!!!!!

zenti 2

Thursday 2 December 2010 14:50

It's so nice to see that people think that sexual harassment is funny. That guy's a moron, and I hope that the OP won't have to see him all the time.

karmaslave 5

Thursday 2 December 2010 17:57

Ah, another douche reveals himself. ^

BBYTigger 0

Monday 20 December 2010 9:54

66 ur a loser get a life

perdix 29

Thursday 2 December 2010 14:51

A charming new neighbor . . . and a potential satisfied customer. If you are coming up short on the rent, you can count on him for a steady stream of income, that is, if you are any good at rendering the service in question.

pokemaster2468 0

Friday 3 December 2010 1:51

dick way 2 put it (but very creative)

Flutterz 3

Thursday 2 December 2010 14:52

So you write PIG in huge letters on some paper and GLUE it to his back window.... have fun scraping that off and maybe learn a lesson while doing so....