Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML
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Top comments
illabye 0
That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!
airforce987 20
Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...
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Comments (322)
sweetmama88 6
Sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon
tressie_fml 6
God, that's probably the worst pain someone'll ever feel.
perdix 29
From now on, I'm going to always, Always, ALWAYS wear pants when biking. This story points out that wearing two helmets, one for each head, does not provide adequate protection.
xplainphrox 8
And yet, you may never have biological kids because of this freak accident... My step-grandfather did the same thing, but in a different way, with a bike also... He was technically casterated as a kid... On the other hand, I was 8 and was riding a bike without a seat... A little advice - NEVER do that... Falling on the pipe hurts tremendously... As I'm damn sure you are hurting now. O.o Btw, I'm a Chick... And I cringes reading your story... And it reminded me of mine (above) and granddad's too. O.o
Shadow_Phantom 26
I cringed, and I'm not even a guy. .-. FYL hard.
brendenlov8 2
im sorry but good luck having kids after that one!
katiekatlovesu 5
Hope your balls will get well soon ... Take care...
delta249 2
My balls hurt just from reading this. FYL man, I hope you get a speedy recovery
mastodon33metal 7
FFFFUCCCCCCCKKKK I could have gone all day without reading that. FYL, OP.
DrewFluIngle 10
How can anyone say the Op deserved this? Nobody deserves to have their balls torn..
outoftown 26
#81, Except maybe the serial sexual predator in the prior FML.