Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML
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Top comments
illabye 0
That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!
airforce987 20
Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...
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Comments (322)
stormchaser24 24
How did this happen? Did it get stuck in the chain or do you ride a bike made of knives and razors. New saw movie idea?
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
Not sure *exactly* how this happened to you, but with my bike I start off by pushing off with my foot like a skateboarder to get it moving safely while I go for the pedals. Just a tip, if you decide to ride again sometime-
redhedsaysrawr 18
I sincerely doubt OP will ever want to get on a bike again after this traumatic experience... if I were a guy, just the sight of a bike would make my nuts hurt after this...
missyfiona89 28
Blue balls!!!!
msCherry973 2
Now u know the real meaning of blue balls :-)
Benlop_fml 15
Cannot. Imagine. Pain.
gudia17 3
Gv
dogpup4 23
You mean your scrotum tore open and your testicles were actually exposed? Like, actually the inside of your balls? OH GOD THE PAIN YOU POOR BASTARD
KingCeltic77 18
At least you have big balls.
allie746 1
This makes me want to cry for you, I'm a girl.
THE_A_TEEN 27
My balls cringed, tucked itself deep in my body, set up it's defenses, armor, and turrets around my scrotum after reading that.