Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML
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Top comments
illabye 0
That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!
airforce987 20
Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...
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Comments (322)
Minx108 12
The enormity of the pain here is too much to contemplate. Instead I'm going to focus on how this FML sounds like the fighting scene commentaries in the Sherlock movies..
Sunkissedgal 6
Time of death 0400 hours.
lexiieeex3 32
I just clenched my teeth. Oh shit feel better Hun.
wetofour 7
Blue balls really does suck wouldn't you say?
Turtle_rebellion 10
Unfortunately, I can say I feel your pain. Well, almost. I've never had my sack literally ripped apart, but I've had it cut open. It only hurts once the shock subsides.
PhishloverA 14
Sounds like you busted both of your nuts
Pikachu17 13
Getting kicked in the balls is scientifically 160 times more painful than birth. FYL
AussieChild 22
Actually there is no proof supporting that. And apparently the pain from getting kicked in the nuts, lasts on average for 20 minutes. Some women are in labor for over 30 hours. So there really is no comparing.
Shrike 23
111: See my comment up top. There's NO scientific pain scale. But hey, I'm sure you actually did the research and aren't just repeating an urban legend or making shit up off the top of your head, so how about you post a link to the study?
supportcommand 17
Some women have orgasms during child birth. I've never had one from a ball smashing before.
ursulbmw 3
this just made my balls cringe...FYL
ezmerelda2272 0
That's some serious blue balls !!
Speezy01 4
On the bright side you probably don't require a condom anymore. Good for you.
Turtle_rebellion 10
He also won't be able to have sex anymore without extreme pain.
Speezy01 4
Simply an obstacle to over come in my opinion.