Health: Today, after twisting my knee playing soccer with my friends,...

By Sam - 20/08/2010 05:34 - United States

Today, after twisting my knee playing soccer with my friends, I had to take myself to the hospital. Apparently finishing the game was more important to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 943

You deserved it 4 636

Health

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Best teeth in the game

Unreasonable

By DogBeater - 21/06/2016 01:21 - United States

Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 967

You deserved it 830

By kiken.bara - 06/01/2013 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 892

You deserved it 7 463

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 21:28

Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 130

By whatever - 24/11/2012 07:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 169

You deserved it 2 460

By drycleanplz - 21/06/2011 02:33 - Reserved

Today, I wore my expensive new white jacket to work, thinking it would be a nice change from my usual black. I managed to lean in printer ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 560

You deserved it 12 807

By Callum536 - 22/08/2016 09:51 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's my birthday and I'd invited quite a lot of my friends to come round and have some fun. When I got home, I saw a few cars outside. It turned out to be for the neighbours. I waited and waited; none of my friends showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 911

You deserved it 859

By Sarah - 09/04/2015 20:24 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 5 438

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 4 177

By thanks guys - 07/04/2019 00:00

Today, I’ve been suffering with a fever of 104° as well as an ear and sinus infection. I asked my mom and sister if they could get me meds and fluids from the store. I sent them money through my bank app for the supplies. They took my money and went to lunch instead. I’m still sick as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 686

You deserved it 164

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 010

You deserved it 10 516

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 09:29 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 557

You deserved it 3 604

By bunkbed - 30/08/2011 16:45 - Canada

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 981

You deserved it 3 861

By eringoBRA - 06/05/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 153

You deserved it 52 736

Ouch

By rnw - 21/07/2016 05:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 055

You deserved it 2 037

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 09:15 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 552

You deserved it 4 968

By Ange - 15/01/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 396

You deserved it 5 074

By rebecca - 10/03/2009 21:31 - Austria

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 231

You deserved it 7 138

Inference

By Canuckboy - 24/06/2021 07:59 - Canada

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 336

By manymisfortunes - 04/10/2014 05:43 - Canada - Lachine

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 944

You deserved it 12 384

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 03:24 - United States - Franklin

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 464

You deserved it 1 815

Regret…

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 20:01

Today, I searched my ex-boyfriend on Facebook while my husband slept. He recently got engaged. I regret everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 1 713

Generational trauma

By Laren - 24/09/2021 23:00

Today, I discovered my 17 year-old daughter has an eating disorder. When I confronted her, she confessed that she’s doing it because she wants to stay thin, so that her boyfriend doesn’t dump her like her father dumped me for not being thin enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 113

By Lisa - 16/12/2014 03:38 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 4 343

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 07:25 - France

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 045

You deserved it 6 269

By myBFsucks - 05/10/2011 04:16 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 246

You deserved it 7 513

By kiwi023 - 14/02/2012 06:50 - Canada

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my already-clean house to avoid any form of conversation with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 27 903

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 337

You deserved it 2 367

Meet the in-laws

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 19:59

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 312

By college student - 23/04/2017 10:00 - United States - College Park

Today, at 12, I went for a run across campus.‬ Why? I'd realized my 12:30 exam was actually at 12.‬ ‪FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 407

You deserved it 1 372

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 022

You deserved it 3 970

By prettybich - 15/05/2010 18:01 - United States

Today, I am severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 176

You deserved it 36 347

Chainsaw massacre

By sleepless in sleeplessness - 18/06/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snores like a lumberjack. Even when I leave to sleep on the couch, I can still hear her through the door. She won’t go to the doctor because, "snoring runs in her family and they’re all just fine." Yeah, uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 119

Most likely

By lukey101 - 11/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 70

By John Brown - 24/07/2018 15:00

Today, my roommate told me that I have to find a new place to live because I make his new girlfriend uncomfortable. I just had surgery and am bedridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 639

You deserved it 163

On the rocks

By future divorcee - 06/08/2021 20:01

Today, I told my husband that if he wanted any chance of salvaging our marriage, we would have to go to counseling and he must cut ALL ties with the woman he had an affair with. The sniveling worm actually had the audacity to ask, “If we stop the sex, can I still stay friends with her?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 215

By Anonymous - 20/01/2015 00:45 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 2 782

By Nyah Murphy - 05/12/2017 19:00

Today, I fell asleep for 20 minutes during my first final in law school. I took a $70k loan to be here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 131

You deserved it 4 958

By Weathersucks - 17/01/2010 05:13 - France

Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 623

You deserved it 3 051

By queen - 30/12/2009 01:29 - Brazil

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 24 213

By Kitcat034 - 22/01/2018 15:00

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 749

You deserved it 1 012

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Top comments

Notamerican 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:18

You know if you weren't the one injured, you'd keep playing too. :P

andruha1123 5

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:11

soccer is the shit!

iShuffIe 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:11

sucks :/

Brownstranger19 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:13

FYL for not having better "friends".

owneditup 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:14

was it at least an important game? not that it would make it much better

KiwiLime 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:15

guys and their sports..

marinus_fml 19

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:15

it could have been worse! you could have rushed to the ER expecting to get a strap for your knee, but come out with a lime green cast from your ankle to your thigh...

coolsteve 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:19

YDI for calling it soccer

daniisme 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:21

YDI for calling it football e_e

Trupe 3

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Friday 20 August 2010 12:44

Well real friends are there when you kneed them. Ha more corny puns

groundzeromma 8

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Friday 20 August 2010 13:15

of course soccer is more important...they have the most notorious fans ever. were you really suprised?

DearLar 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 13:29

owwie

psuboy 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 13:30

what's with all the soccer stories?

DaTexasBoy 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 13:48

Suck it up and GET OVER IT. Try dislocating your knee and still having to drag an Air Force pilot out of a plane that is on fire.

ravensunnyd 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 13:58

a lot of people are geting ingurered from soccer

izaba 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 14:19

that sucks. look at the bright side, your team didn't lose the game; they played and won.

DocBastard 38

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Friday 20 August 2010 14:28

Walk it off, you pussy. If it isn't broken or spurting blood, get back in the freaking game! Goddamn whiners piss me off.

MykeLytorus 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 15:03

Why do some people feel it necessary to comment on every single FML? Are their "witty" comments that good or do they just spend way too much time here?

s2kman 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 15:10

what's with you and your "it could have been worse stories"?loll

the_flirtt 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 15:48

marinus that was a different fml

imlagginglol 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 15:51

YDI for calling it soccer

Ludii_fml 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 16:12

26 win ^_^. theflirtt : i think he knows ;)

mattman1994 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 16:12

Apparently your friends thought you were fine... which you probably were. If you're well enough to stand up and take yourself to the hospital, your knee is fine

BoyFromTheFuture 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 16:24

throw some dirt on it and walk it off. come on smalls, you still have it as twisted and not sprained or torn or broken. op is an L7 wienie.

Jypsie 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 17:11

YDI for calling it soccer

nishant5456 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 17:12

1.You should have told them to STFU and take you to the ER 2.You need new friends 3.Get over it because it wasn't so bad since you GOT to post on FML.

Mehness 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 17:22

16 - I know that's a joke but football (actually futball) does make better sense than soccer >.<

BoyFromTheFuture 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 18:05

it's not a big deal the term soccer was interchangeable with football in the old days(1880s-mid 1900s). it was called soccer football here and associated football in england to differentiate from am. football and the english rugby.

benny2465 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 21:26

45 exactly

MeAlec 1

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Friday 20 August 2010 22:00

uh yeah have you not played soccer if fun. you twisted your knee big fucking deal grow some balls pussy

HeroOfMi 0

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Friday 20 August 2010 22:18

when you're knee is screwed up, continuing to play doesn't make you tough, it makes you stupid. you can't play to the best of your ability which pretty much fucks your team over. and chances are, you'll just screw it up more. that's what happened to me when I ran track.