Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all that, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
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Top comments
vadaaa 11
Why did you try to convince your girlfriend for sex for 16 months? Didn't it dawn on you after the first attempt that no means no and she will when she is ready to?
truesarrif 33
that's what foreplay is for?
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Comments (228)
B5B0N35 18
man then just please her with your hands
perdix 29
That's way too long to wait. You should have dumped her after six celibate months (maybe less) and found a girl with a similar interest in sex. It's something you've been wanting for over a year and the fact that she's been frustrating you that whole time means you two are not compatible.
CelticMarine 3
Are you serious? What is wrong with wanting to wait to have sex? Given that most teen/20s relationships only last between 3-9 months and people are usually active for 10+ years before marriage, you would be looking at an average of between 13-40 sexual partners before marriage, minus 1 night stands
ManInTheMachine 19
I agree with perdix on the last part. The fact that he's tried this long to convince her means they've been in this relationship for very different reasons, and probably aren't compatible. While OP has obviously been a raging horndog the entire time and isn't willing to consent to her wishes and make a commitment, then they probably arent right for each other. There's also the possibility that perdix is, as usual, not being serious.
perdix 29
#33, the problem is she wanted to wait and he didn't. If he was OK with waiting, that would be a different story, but he has been asking, begging, badgering, groveling, pursuading and pressuring her for 16 months, so he obviously was unhappy about waiting. Couples need to have similar (not necessarily exactly the same, but similar) values if they are going to succeed in the long run.
maimengming 10
Does anyone else think 33's estimate of forty parters (without one night stands) is a little ridiculous, or am I just extremely innocent?
perdix 29
#67, you may be a little innocent. If someone can't or doesn't want to get into a long-term relationship while they are single, they could rack up numbers like that (I don't know why one-night stands don't count.) The high number may be reasonable, but the low number should probably be lower.
RedPillSucks 31
Both. 13 to 40 is a wide range. The discussion should be centered around the average. Who knows what the whole std dev is for this stuff.
maimengming 10
That's why I was asking. It was an honest question. I could understand forty with one night stands, but without just seems like a lot, to me at least. And thirteen to forty is a very large gap.
etchsanity1 11
98 - it seems a bit crazy until you sit down and work out the math at 27 I counted the other day after reading an article about averages and well I was kinda shocked after I figured up my own numbers and I have only been active since 21... I think the numbers shown are well within reason some people will be much higher some will have 0... I wound up a little above what is supposed to be average for my age group, but that's not necessarily a good thing.
maimengming 10
123- I just think it sounds ridiculous because he said without one night stands. Like I said, I'm probably just innocent and naive, but forty also sounds like a lot of relationships to me.
KaiserSD 8
THANK YOU!!! Someone said it eloquently before I said it crudely. Very nicely put. I am kinda aghast at how many people think he honestly deserved to be ignored for over a year though, that's not even human. Good on him for sticking it out for sixteen months, in my opinion.
etchsanity1 11
I just get a kick out of everyone trying to assign blame to this one way or the other there is simply not enough information... Personally I am more than happy to wait a few months but if you're that insecure or unsure about sex then you shouldn't be with a person who is or wants to be sexually active.
CelticMarine 3
My math was based on a 10 year fasting history : if you stay in a relationship for 9 months on average and sleep with each, over 10 years that would be 13 partners. If your relationships tend to last 3 months, divide the 120 months of a 10 year time frame by 3 and get 40 partners.
CelticMarine 3
And 133 I didn't include 1 night stands because I really don't know how often people do that. They certainly count in the grand scheme of things but I couldn't use a basic formula to calculate it. I assume guys have more, but I have some slutty chick friends so who know.
maimengming 10
Actually, I looked it up. Each article I found said that 7 to 9 partners is *average* for men before marriage, and for women it's 4 to 5. I would hope relationships last more then three to nine months, especially as an adult. I'm in my senior year in high school and have seen many relationships last much longer, including my own.
DDCA 24
Maybe if you trying to seduce her as opposed to trying to convince her to have sex with you, there would be no reason for this FML. You totally deserve it.
DocBastard 38
Don't worry, it happens to all guys at some point. You'll get her next ti... Oh, who am I kidding. It doesn't happen to all guys, just you. You're just inadequate. You should just give up and become a priest. That's the only hope you have left, you poor bastard.
lambda_fml 40
And he could call himself AbbeBastard.
papi_dulce 1
Hahaha this happen to me my first time except I didn't have to convince her. It's just nerves my man make it more sensual next time and let it happen on its own. the chick I'm with now doesn't want to and I just push her boundaries little by little but never crossing them.
misspulkadot24 17
You sound like a rapist in the making.
spaboolly 26
Pushing her boundaries against her known wishes makes you an ass. Crossing them can make you a felon. Just something to consider.
zombieslayer83 19
What if she secretly wants to be pushed? I have been with girls that loved to have there boundaries pushed. To help give themselves the courage they needed!
SmittyJA24 26
16 months? I'd have dumped a gal within 16 days without sex.
Kingbreezy04 10
Probably would have just left if you called her a "gal"
perdix 29
#34, that might be a bit too short a deadline -- you might be missing out on some high-quality 'tang with such a requirement. I know old guys like us want to get things going before the reaper comes gets us, but you gotta have a little patience.
Sir_drink_alot 20
16 days? Are you enjoying living in your parents basement?
perdix 29
#62, he's probably banged a long train of skanks down there, so I'm guessing yes!
RedPillSucks 31
Come on baby (Don't fear the reaper) Baby take my hand (Don't fear the reaper) We'll be able to fly (Don't fear the reaper) Baby I'm your man
Kingbreezy04 10
I wonder if his Mom takes the Meatloaf down there or if he has to get it himself. Hmm.....I wonder?
sinner92 4
Your a prick.
Kingbreezy04 10
Who's a prick?
Kingbreezy04 10
Wait Nevermind
eddeeezzyy 19
Time to pull out the Viagra!
Epikouros 31
Oh well, maybe you'll do better in June 2014. At least the weather will be warmer.
Kingbreezy04 10
Karma? Sex is something that is supposed to happen. You psyched yourself out and got all excited. Just go with the flow, and if this is your first time it will most likely be over before you know it.
bott_fml 4
You deserve it for trying to convince her to have sex with you.