By straightasaneedle - 02/02/2011 17:11 - Germany

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 589
You deserved it 4 868
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Top comments

perdix 29

Unless you have just started fourth grade, then you've been putting off asking her out for a hell of a lot longer than three weeks! (If you are just starting fourth grade, you are too young to date (except if you are perdix, but he was an exception)) You've probably put on this gay act to get close to her. Girls are rightfully suspicious of the motivations of straight guys, but often let their guard down to non-threatening gay ones. Now, if you were clever, you'd tell her that she "straightened" you out ;) (I hope this gets in before the inevitable dreaded "Comments are deactivated.")

49 8

Comments

alwa7sh 2

if I were you I would reply "No, let's go to my house and I'll prove it"

9 3
jrockstar123 0

ooooooo that's a burn

0 2
DocBastard 38

Then I have some bad news for you, friend...

9 1
sweet_candy_ 17

Lmafo the mods are amazing. You guys make fml extra special.

9 0
DocBastard 38

KaySL you silly git, the "bad news" is that I'm married, not that I'm a woman! Haha, oh you. I laughed and laughed.

7 0
DocBastard 38

*Female* goats, damn you. Use your ears, man.

3 0
ryanst 7

25- So does everyone else on FML. (pst, hey Doc, I won't tell your wife if you won't..)

0 0
DocBastard 38

Guaranteed way to get her in bed: tell her "Yes I am, but I've always wanted to see what it was like with a beautiful woman." That's money in the bank, bruh.

32 3
fearfulsymmetry 1

So? Explain to her that you're not gay and interested in her. Either she goes for it or she doesn't. Not a big deal. jesus christ...

12 5
iliketurdles 7

b-b-but if people didn't make a big deal out of stuff, you would not be staring at your computer/phone screen, giggling like 36yr old man getting turned on by his prostitute whilst she is ticking his feet with a feather.. It happened to, err, a friend from church.

4 7
xnox 6

You probably have a big heart. Smile, next time will be worse. In today's over-hyped internet-frenzy it seems like everyone is into tagging everyone into buckets. She wasn't worth it and you know it! Just remember you are a better person who actually has feelings, emotion and compassion. Many people don't. "Love is evil, you usually fall in love with a goat" - old Russian saying.

6 2
Peytonlikesme 0

HOW SAD!!!! Lol

0 3
ImaginaryFoe 0

You can unfuck your life in one word, "No."

5 1
FYLDeep 25

"But Aren't you gay?" "Well to that, all I have to say is..." "Is Ed 'Too Tall' Jones too tall?" "Does Charlie Daniels play a mean fiddle?" "Did The Waltons take way too long to say good night?" "Does a ten pound bag of flour make a really big biscuit?" "Did the caveman invent fire?" "Was Abe Lincoln honest?" "Is having a snowball fight with pitching great Randy Johnson a bad idea?" "Is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush?" "Can fútbol announcer Andrés Cantor make any sport exciting?" "Did the little piggy cry 'wee wee wee' all the way home?" "Does a former drill sergeant make a terrible therapist?" "Does Elmer Fudd have trouble with the letter R?" "Do woodchucks chuck wood?" "Does it take two to tango?" "What, do you live under a rock?" "Does helium make an opera room less stuffy?" "Do mimes make even less sense when you can't see them?" "Does a rolling stone gather no moss?" "Do only dogs hear dog whistles?" "Oh wait that didn't help my case at all."

9 1
mandypandypants 4

^someones been watching too much tv to memorize all the gieco commercials.

2 0
ryanst 7

You have to admire just how many quotes from them he came up with.

0 0
tesuan 0

Does Chris Brown have a mean right hook?

0 1
LetsRollOut 2

"Hey, you wood chucks! Quit chuckin' my wood!"

0 0
kaoriblossom 8

Just tell the girl you've been degayafied and make some magiccccccccc !

0 3