Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for months now. She told me I was very cute and then walked off. I still don't have an answer. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask out the girl I liked. I got her a nice bracelet for her birthday and asked her on a date when I gave it to her. "Aww, you're so sweet!" was the response to the gift. Her response to the date proposal? "Wait, you aren't gay?" FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Unless you have just started fourth grade, then you've been putting off asking her out for a hell of a lot longer than three weeks! (If you are just starting fourth grade, you are too young to date (except if you are perdix, but he was an exception)) You've probably put on this gay act to get close to her. Girls are rightfully suspicious of the motivations of straight guys, but often let their guard down to non-threatening gay ones. Now, if you were clever, you'd tell her that she "straightened" you out ;) (I hope this gets in before the inevitable dreaded "Comments are deactivated.")
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
Sirin I'm gay.
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Comments (103)
alwa7sh 2
if I were you I would reply "No, let's go to my house and I'll prove it"
jrockstar123 0
ooooooo that's a burn
llamagangster 0
DocBastard, I want to touch your dick.
DocBastard 40
Then I have some bad news for you, friend...
sweet_candy_ 17
Lmafo the mods are amazing. You guys make fml extra special.
DocBastard 40
KaySL you silly git, the "bad news" is that I'm married, not that I'm a woman! Haha, oh you. I laughed and laughed.
DocBastard 40
*Female* goats, damn you. Use your ears, man.
ryanst 7
25- So does everyone else on FML. (pst, hey Doc, I won't tell your wife if you won't..)
DocBastard 40
Guaranteed way to get her in bed: tell her "Yes I am, but I've always wanted to see what it was like with a beautiful woman." That's money in the bank, bruh.
fearfulsymmetry 1
So? Explain to her that you're not gay and interested in her. Either she goes for it or she doesn't. Not a big deal. jesus christ...
iliketurdles 7
b-b-but if people didn't make a big deal out of stuff, you would not be staring at your computer/phone screen, giggling like 36yr old man getting turned on by his prostitute whilst she is ticking his feet with a feather.. It happened to, err, a friend from church.
xnox 6
You probably have a big heart. Smile, next time will be worse. In today's over-hyped internet-frenzy it seems like everyone is into tagging everyone into buckets. She wasn't worth it and you know it! Just remember you are a better person who actually has feelings, emotion and compassion. Many people don't. "Love is evil, you usually fall in love with a goat" - old Russian saying.
Peytonlikesme 0
HOW SAD!!!! Lol
ImaginaryFoe 1
You can unfuck your life in one word, "No."
FYLDeep 26
"But Aren't you gay?" "Well to that, all I have to say is..." "Is Ed 'Too Tall' Jones too tall?" "Does Charlie Daniels play a mean fiddle?" "Did The Waltons take way too long to say good night?" "Does a ten pound bag of flour make a really big biscuit?" "Did the caveman invent fire?" "Was Abe Lincoln honest?" "Is having a snowball fight with pitching great Randy Johnson a bad idea?" "Is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush?" "Can fútbol announcer Andrés Cantor make any sport exciting?" "Did the little piggy cry 'wee wee wee' all the way home?" "Does a former drill sergeant make a terrible therapist?" "Does Elmer Fudd have trouble with the letter R?" "Do woodchucks chuck wood?" "Does it take two to tango?" "What, do you live under a rock?" "Does helium make an opera room less stuffy?" "Do mimes make even less sense when you can't see them?" "Does a rolling stone gather no moss?" "Do only dogs hear dog whistles?" "Oh wait that didn't help my case at all."
mandypandypants 4
^someones been watching too much tv to memorize all the gieco commercials.
ryanst 7
You have to admire just how many quotes from them he came up with.
tesuan 0
Does Chris Brown have a mean right hook?
LetsRollOut 2
"Hey, you wood chucks! Quit chuckin' my wood!"
F14Shado 0
I agree with you.
kaoriblossom 8
Just tell the girl you've been degayafied and make some magiccccccccc !