Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Completely wet
Today, I was drinking too much and I had to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I'd pissed the bed. FML
Wild night, huh?
Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I always tell people, "Back up your data!" in case of fire, theft or a pissing contest.
kaitlynjane 28
Where you guys incredibly drunk, or does he just like to do these things for fun? SERIOUSLY CONFUSED!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (37)
Nysha 17
Absolute fuckface! Make him pay for the laptop.
yergenferfer 9
I'd be pissed tbh
MissAnonymous93 19
Excuse the pun... :P
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
Probably sleep walking and his brain forgot that hes not at his home so he just walked there thinking toilet was there. Hope the laptop still works
CGPainting 0
So you spread your legs on the first meeting for a guy who you barely knew at all, and engaged in drunken sex, and now you are surprised that he didn't respect you or things you own? YDI (OBVIOUSLY, he should not be pissing on your stuff. Nobody DARE thumb me down for pretending like I am implying otherwise, because I AM NOT. HOWEVER: She has no room to talk. None. I suppose legally she can make him pay for it, but morally? She put herself into a pretty bad situation to begin with. She shouldn't be sleeping with random men and acting shocked and surprised when they d*ck her over. She should have a high enough IQ to realize that's kind of how it goes.)
sarcasmismyno1 22
I will totally thumbs you down for being all preachy and judgmental. OP can sleep with whom ever he/she wants to. That's not the point of the FML. The point is that their stuff got pissed on and it sucks.
CGPainting 0
Excuse me, I think you are confused. I never said the OP "Couldn't sleep with who they wanted". The OP has a complete right to sleep with whoever they want! Our US Constitution is beautiful in how it gives individual liberties to people, provided those liberties do not directly infringe on the rights of others. However, just because "they have a right to sleep with who they want" doesn't mean there aren't consequences for those actions. "Being allowed to do something" does not automatically make the actions blame-free or consequence-free. You seem to have the mind of a child, in that regard. Or perhaps you are just purposely acting stupid, due to political correctness, who knows. Example 1- I am legally allowed to jump off a dumpster onto asphalt if I want. Does that mean that if my leg breaks, it's "not my fault for jumping because I can do what I want"? Example 2- let's say the person they sleep with has HIV. They can "choose to sleep with them", yes! The person with HIV may be in legal trouble, but not the person choosing to bang them though. However is that a SMART decision? NO! ITS STUPID! Same thing here. The OP LEGALLY can CHOOSE to sleep with a one night stand- yes. NOBODY is saying otherwise. But let's not pretend it was an intelligent decision to do so. Obviously, it ended badly. Why did it end badly, little girl? Oh yeah- because it was a stupid decision, because people who don't know you well do not tend to show respect, and she had no knowledge of if that guy was a psycho, a bad drunk, or just a pisser, that's why. Yes, she "is legally allowed to do what she wants"- but that does not mean that her actions did not somehow cause this.
CGPainting 0
So no, the point is not that "her stuff got pissed on and it sucks". Her stuff did not get pissed on by the Magical Piss Fairy. Her stuff got pissed on by the drunk man she had sex with, whom she had just met, whom she voluntarily allowed into her home, who could have slit her throat or robbed her or raped her, a guy WHO SHE DID NOT KNOW AT ALL. THAT is how her "stuff got pissed on". That is WHO "pissed on" her stuff. Therefore, the moral of the story is "If you do not want bad things to happen- such as having your stuff pissed on- it might be intelligent to not allow people into the privacy of your home, much less your own bed, before you know them at least moderately well." Get it? You are free to IGNORE this advice, but it doesn't mean it ain't true. It's funny, the same feminists who PRETEND to be SOOOO scared of the Big Bad Evil Men, are the same feminists who idiotically allow drunk idiots into their home to bang them out, and then act shocked when their house gets destroyed or stuff gets stolen or they get raped. Like really? Why are you surprised by human nature? I thought feminists of all people, understand how dangerous strange men can be sometimes?
sarcasmismyno1 22
1) Nowhere does it say that OP is a female 2) How about you stop **** shaming? Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. 3) Chill the hell out.
GigaPudding_fml 24
I am so tired of this kind of arguments. "You wore a short skirt, you're the one to blame". Going home with someone does not mean they can treat you however they want to. Plus, I can only imagine how tiresome it must be as a guy to always be referred to as some kind of animal that can't control your urges.
sweetpotato301 7
That user commented on another post saying that wishing someone happy holidays is 'patronising and insulting the saviour who died for your sins'. I went on their profile and it said they've been banned, thankfully.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Really?? Destroying other's items, stealing, and raping is human nature? You have a very low opinion of people, because that isn't human nature. People aren't just programmed to resort to those terrible things by default or biology. The people that do those things are just terrible individuals who are actively choosing to be bad and inflict harm on their victims. It is a choice, if they didn't CHOOSE to do bad things, there would be NO victims. The victims of those bad people's choices are IN NO WAY at fault, they did nothing wrong, the perpetrator did. We're an evolved, intelligent species completely responsible for our own actions, especially when they hurt other's. Saying people, and you focused on men specifically, are just bad by nature is quite frankly insulting and disgusting. We're people, not savage animals. Also, NO WHERE does it mention alcohol, or that either of them were drunk or drinking. The US Constitution is also irrelevant here because this FML is from the UK.
T1A2Z3 35
Of course doing bad things is bad. But there is a point to the comments. Yes it was a disgusting act but the OP did allow someone she didn't know into her home. There's a reason people lock their doors. Some people can't be trusted. We meet people and analyse them and decide if we want to trust them. We may still be wrong but taking the time to asses if someone is reliable is still a good idea. I would feel the same way if the OP was a man bring random people home. You should know the people you let into your home especially if you'll be asleep with them.
obvious_lee 9
Oh gee... some poor ***** took a random guy home and had a bad experience. Maybe don't **** random guys and you won't have this problem. Go ahead and ban me fml mods!
InfiniteSunshine 32
Maybe people should have some decency and not damage other's property and we wouldn't have this problem. Having consensual sex (as long as there's no cheating) - hurts no one and isn't illegal. Property damage - hurts people and it's illegal. SEE THE DIFFERENCE. Also, the term *****, that's often used to refer to women. Maybe you didn't notice, but no where does it specify gender.
ThongWarrior 17
He was sleep peeing? Thats a new one
ReilyStafford 13
Cloud storage is your best friend. Dropbox, OneDrive, etc. can save your work in case of a single failure like urine.
jvanevery 19
I don't understand the behavior, even tho I have done it myself once. other drunken behaviors make some sense but not this one don't trn on the laptop take it to repair shop
Zelda9678 11
Well, you kinda deserved that for having a one night stand. Don't let random strangers into your home. If you do that, then you have to be prepared for the worst situation.