Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML
Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML
Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
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Top comments
sidkid008 0
Welcome to America!
ScaughtieHolden 11
Now you can try venison.
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Comments (223)
OfficeNinja 5
Happens a lot here. We have a lot of woods, and therefore many deer.
sbd122 5
There is your first American dinner.
perdix 31
Welcome to America! I'm so sorry that your idealized vision of America was smashed in an ugly, sad and disgusting way. Wait 'til you see the way we elect our leaders.
docscientist 10
By whoever is currently hottest thing in the media?
perdix 31
That would be Lady Gaga, Kim Kardashian and Newt Gingrich, in that order. I wonder how historians in the future will treat Kardashianian Democracy?
PvtParts417 15
They taste excellent to
Plaasmaa 4
Land of the free?
perdix 31
Free deer, that is. Hopefully, you won't get busted by a game warden for hunting without a license.
xrudeboyrock 29
Aw, well, welcome to America! (not in a sarcastic way.) But.... deer? Maybe it's because I see them in my backyard, but I never understood the fascination with them.
majorasshole 4
Venison's dear, isn't it?
perdix 31
Yes, venison is pretty expensive. It's similar to elk and bison meat. All of which are much more expensive than beef.
chasestiner 7
Might of forgot to tell ya about those....
maphineRAWRS 10
Oh no! Poor car!
Jimboom 12
Ahh. The American dream. Killing things and shattered dreams.
niplipsip 9
but then if the dream has been shattered and the dream is to shatter dreams.... wouldn't that cancel out the dream... part... *confused face*