Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML
Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML
Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
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Top comments
sidkid008 0
Welcome to America!
ScaughtieHolden 11
Now you can try venison.
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Comments (223)
xSorry_fml 10
Better a deer than a majestic moron who still uses the cross walk when it's not their turn. THE HAND MEANS NO ******!!
imcutefml 0
Me gusta
DyingBreed47 4
Every dead deer is not Bambi's mom.
scottgeo 0
You can always get it mounted and put it on your wall. That way you can see one whenever you want. Besides there are alot of more impressive animals in America than a deer.
graphicstyle7 17
Well... Welcome to America! Seriously, the deer are a big problem. Hate to see them hurt, but unfortunately a doe's body is not geared toward birth control. We've tried that (in feed left out) didn't work. If the natural predators are allowed to come back, then things WILL get interesting!
dregg22 2
That tends to happen
ty1992_farmlife 12
Well, that happens here! Welcome to America, jus dont move to Ohio.. the deer are worse here and bigger lol
InuwindoW 13
What color is a majestic deer?!?! Never heard of that one before!
crisco5105 1
It is deer season!!!!
whitneyleezer 0
Majestic? You sound like a queer.