By pinkleopleurodon - 09/12/2011 12:23 - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 036
You deserved it 2 568

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Top comments

SirCuDi 9

Buy a gas mask

Call of dooty: Fart Ops.

Comments

SirCuDi 9

Buy a gas mask

Or a butt plug.

TorturedXeno 27

Still alive, OP?

Break the window, cuz that's nasty as hell.

Grab somebody sexy tell 'em ayyyyy let's do it tonight cause we might not get tomorrow

jake1632 9

Tie her to the ceiling, whereas her buttho is against the vent. Or you cam THROW HER ON THE GROOOUUNNDD :)

CommonSenseKarma 17

A gas mask would be extremely comfortable sleepwear.

Oreohugzpenny 4

Get a hammer and while you are breaking it play hammer time!

kikiwi_fml 9

Get her back and eat fastfood for a week straight. It's on!

Unfortunately, not even fast food or taco will ever be bad enough to combat what she is doing to herself.

Isn't it funny how not eating meat makes you pass noxious fumes.... Yet digesting seared animal flesh is fine? Long live carnivores!

^^ If i could, i would thumb you up fifty times.....

The gas and bloating only lasts about a month or so. It's because your body is changing to a new kind of diet and the enzymes aren't yet used to digesting the new kind of food. The same thing happens when vegetarians start eating meat.

This is where you decide to eat chili every day

You mean "when" right? Where implies a location while when implies a time or date.

Yeah, and then OP will post another FML about a shitty situation

tylersign 11

Busted window? Not a problem! *hands over hammer*

tsim_fml 0

exactly it will already cost money to fix it, might as well smash it

Call of dooty: Fart Ops.

Call to Duty: Crap Ops

Battlefarts 3 Unfarted 3 Creativity... :)

Gears of Crap 3

flockz 19

ratchet and stank.

Haha ok ok so my crap ops one wasn't much of a winner, but I'm liking this thread I must say

Ass Ass-ins creed?

KiddNYC1O 20

MW3 multiplayer sucks. Irrelevant, I know.

flockz 19

assassin's creed: constipations. just thought i'd add on.

KiddNYC1O 20

Devil May Fart.

KiddNYC1O 20

Mario Shart is in the lead, cake in hand.

Why thank you 57 lol

KiddNYC1O 20

GoldenFart 007.

xSonic 9

Kingdom Farts?

Army of poo

Mario Shart makes me laugh every time I read it.

Counter Shite

Poetaster 10

War of the Vampire Zombie fart brigade.

Duke Nukem : Forever- you dont even need to change the name.

SirCuDi 9

Star Wars: The Fart Unleashed

Mario and Luigi: super-shard saga

coolboy675 16

Meet The Farters

yourlifesfucked 0

The Elder Scrolls V: (toilet) Bowlrim.

Team Fartress 2.

I take it she doesn't know much about vegetarian food then and is eating stuff that's bad for her or just generally gives gas anyway (like brussel sprouts). Give her a vegetarian cook book :D.

The extra fiber should account for the gas but not the smell. If she replaced tofu for everything in a meat heavy diet she will have gas and bad gas at that since her body isn't equipped to just jump right into digesting so much at a time.

She shouldn't combine acids and carbohydrates, that can lead to massive digestive problems. For example, no orange juice, lemon juice, grapefruit juice or vinegar at any meal that also includes high starches and sugars. Although rice is the only starch that doesn't cause gas. Perhaps she should have done a little more research.

A100893 30

Sleep in the bathroom? Eat beans for revenge.

Vaginabutter 15

Butt plug is a bad idea as she would probably fart it out with force after enough pressure builds. *ducks for cover*

As an avid psychic, I forsee the comments to be deactivated over the course of stupidity of vegetarianism, and trolls bashing vegetarians.

Interesting I see a rampant display of fart jokes. Hatred is often displaced for crude humor.

Indeed, vegetarians ruin everything :( I think it's the lack of delicious bacon in their lives.

I am also an avid psychic, and I predict many thumbs down in your near future.

How are vegetarians stupid? Her body is adjusting to her new diet and will stop producing so much gas soon.

JinxosGirl87 0

Don't worry, a flying trampoline should be bouncing by to open the window for you.