Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML
Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML
Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML
Today, after I spent years making fun of people who buy expensive coffee every morning instead of making it at home, and after I got a remote job and started living alone, I realized the barista at the café is currently the closest thing I have to a social life. Yesterday she remembered my order and I nearly felt emotional. FML
Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML
Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML
Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML
Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
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Top comments
greenie213 23
At least he's honest. Now try shutting your mouth every now and again.
Pleonasm 35
Maybe you should get the hint, stop whining and enjoy your warm cup of shut the **** up.
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Comments (58)
vbmg152 18
Well, maybe you should try shutting up! There's nothing more frustrating than a big mouth talking, talking, talking while you're trying to work. Good way to lose your job!
mr_sarcastic416 29
free coffee (no matter what the reason behind giving it is) is a win in my book
Miki101 18
It could always be worse. I mean, he could not get you coffee...
whY402Jay 12
Smooth move.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Why is this controversial! She obviously deserves it!
Reality_bites 14
Wow, if the coworker has to buy the OP coffee just to get them to shut up while they drink it, they must really talk a lot. Personally I wouldn't be buying coffee for them, I would simply put my ipod in my ears after politely telling them I needed to get some stuff done. OP: if you do read this comment: here's how you tell if you are pissing off your co-workers by talking too much. If you ask them a question or say something to them and they respond with an answer that doesn't feature a return question in it or invite the conversation to be extended, zip it. eg Op asks How was your weekend? Co-worker: Great. In this case, coworker is not interested in talking at that moment whereas if the OP asks How was your weekend? Co-worker Great, how was yours? Ok to talk a little.
militarybrat 21
FML. You cant read minds. Why didnt he just come out and say it, politely. Sheesh some people!
berkeleyjake 13
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver
seblikescricket 7
just keep exploiting him. who could say no to free coffee
wvcheesehead1 9
Today's workplace is hell, if you ask them to stop talking so much they file a complaint, if you tell the boss you are labeled a snitch, or the person you mention retaliates. Would op have rather received the notification to stfu in an anonymous note, or would that also have been offensive.