Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I took the train home to save a few dollars on an Uber fare. I fell asleep on the train, got a fine for travelling outside of my paid zone, and had to take an even longer Uber home than it would have been from where I started. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML
Today, trying to get to work just off Eglinton station in Toronto, I slept in, didn't shower, and didn't have money for an Uber, so I jumped on the street car. This was the only time they had people checking tickets. One 200$ fine later, I'm late for work, and after a warning for my tardiness, I was sent home for "stinking." FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
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Top comments
condescending 0
sucks dude, but seriously, why would he ticket the homeless guy he has no money
brodizzle 0
Explain to a NY cop? lolol
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Comments (84)
p00p0ster0us 0
Of course he won't ticket a pee-encrusted homeless man, what's the point? You have money, you pay the fine, city gets financially supported by your mistake.
b_pink13_fml_fml 0
haha well at least you can afford it unlike him
idontgiveone 0
lolol fyl. i bet ud now like to live the homeless guy's life.
cantth1nk0fnam3 3
**** the police. they're all selfish assholes
Cartoonesquire 0
That's funny my nigga I feel you though I'm from BROOKLYN too but I wouldn't sleep on the Q or the 2
lolwut_fail 0
At least it was a cop waking you up with a baton rather than the homeless guy waking you up with his "baton." Could have been worse.
grazynaanka 0
i don't sleep on any of the trains. unless i'm going to citi. why would they ticket a homeless man, who wouldn't be able to pay. no use adding insult to injury. at least you can pay. at least you aren't homeless.
cheer_girl1994 0
awe that's actually sad, i feel bad for the homeless man haha. yeah, buuut now you know, don't sleep on trains, unless you want to chill with a piss-covered homeless man. sound good?
MrZach 0
I live in coney island myself. They don't give tickets to the homeless because they won't get the $$ anyways. paperwork for nothing.
epic_delight1337 0
What I laughed at in this one was the fact that the hobo alongside you was covered in piss. Why??! Was it his own even? fHl