Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I...

By misunderstood - Australia

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35477

You deserved it

6325

Favorite

Intimacy

Rock, hard place

Dicks aplenty!

Can they do that?

By Spockx - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25259

You deserved it

2848

Favorite

By BLAH - Philippines

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27526

You deserved it

2331

Favorite

By violated ._. - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47223

You deserved it

15300

Favorite

By wide awake - 31/7/2020 14:01

Noise

Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1277

You deserved it

173

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40560

You deserved it

4451

Favorite

By nonexistant - Canada

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35381

You deserved it

9024

Favorite

By Anonyme

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25737

You deserved it

9880

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36436

You deserved it

3635

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1833

You deserved it

105

Favorite

By Nojob - United States - Bronx

Today, on my way to my job interview, the man who was supposed to be interviewing me slammed into my car because he wasn’t paying attention. He fired me for raising his insurance premiums. I got fired before getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4012

You deserved it

185

Favorite

By LLCoolBean - United States

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11525

You deserved it

58677

Favorite

By bluten - Canada

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

78682

You deserved it

30920

Favorite

By xoxo - 1/4/2020 02:00 - United States

Miscommunication

Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1682

You deserved it

356

Favorite

By waxer150 - United States - Ashtabula

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27213

You deserved it

8592

Favorite

By casey - United States

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49801

You deserved it

26390

Favorite

By bald&ugly

Empathy City

Today, after losing all my hair to chemo, I finally felt brave enough to go out without a wig or a headscarf. I expected some weird looks. I didn’t expect a woman in a store to point to me and tell her daughter, “See what feminism does to women? She’ll never have a husband, I bet!” FML

I agree, your life sucks

2238

You deserved it

120

Favorite

By Fridaythe12th - United States

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27780

You deserved it

4843

Favorite

By notgoodenough

Today, I was informed I wouldn't be getting a raise because I hadn't followed the updated protocol. I said I was unaware that there was an updated protocol. My supervisor said, "That's because we didn't tell you about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14007

You deserved it

670

Favorite

By Not Supportive

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous so I, not thinking, made comments that included the words killing, dying and death. I'm a rubbish support system. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1407

You deserved it

531

Favorite

By wiseoldone - United States

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23942

You deserved it

8161

Favorite

By Jem - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35842

You deserved it

2638

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10581

You deserved it

35947

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29279

You deserved it

5572

Favorite

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31927

You deserved it

4344

Favorite

By stalked - United States - Bel Air

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14331

You deserved it

20434

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26623

You deserved it

2950

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46495

You deserved it

3380

Favorite

By notpreggers - United Kingdom

Today, I was wearing a new 500 dollar dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted 500 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55819

You deserved it

28754

Favorite

By Username - France

Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39664

You deserved it

3850

Favorite

By coveholli - Australia - Perth

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30133

You deserved it

3169

Favorite

By social anxiety my a** - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37582

You deserved it

4182

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29370

You deserved it

1920

Favorite

By Brenden - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43097

You deserved it

6992

Favorite

By brelni - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24095

You deserved it

4740

Favorite

By Miguel - United States

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31203

You deserved it

5600

Favorite

By twinkletoes - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32979

You deserved it

2505

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from this girl I really like. Surprised, as I never get anything other than a text from her, I answered. All I heard were rustling sounds. She had pocket dialed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31294

You deserved it

5016

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Knowle

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29326

You deserved it

6716

Favorite

By Lebac - United States - Burlington

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35608

You deserved it

4029

Favorite

By fuckingads - United States - Brookfield

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7535

You deserved it

2038

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Haterman123 | 0

#1356077 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:08

WTF who has break up sex

By ThereIsNoFork | 0

#1356019 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:02

So what's the difference?

COMMENTS

By ThereIsNoFork | 0

#1356019 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:02

So what's the difference?

chaos753159 | 4

#1356040 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:04

the zebra is in the donkey

omfgrofl1337 | 0

#1356129 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:18

call him later and say that youre pregnant

chaos753159 | 4

#1356142 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:20

#18 ur reply has nothing to do with #1 :V

sourgirl101 | 28

#1356146 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:21

I know you're joking but that is so wrong.... WTF and you're a guy saying this(:

Melaniee_fml | 0

#1356171 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:29

...atleast the sex was good?

omfgrofl1337 | 0

#1356212 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:35

yea i know i tried commenting elsewhere but it wouldnt post

cory6585 | 0

#1356371 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:25

I can say That I never had break up sex. What is the point? Move on and look for someone else why even continue to hook up

cory6585 | 0

#1356382 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:28

I have never had break up sex. What is the point? Move on find someone else.

420pium | 0

#1356405 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:34

fibgcvdds

nobody_u_ko | 0

#1356420 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:38

who has sex right before you break up

Mehness | 0

#1356434 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:39

#20 Neither does yours :V

Drummer389000 | 0

#1356439 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:40

why did you argue with him was it a good reason or was it a bitchy reason? if bitchy ydi if good fly I'm sorry.

mona_is_here | 10

#1356536 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:07

What a user.

Mumbellosity711 | 0

#1356539 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:07

your picture is amazing.

FreePali | 0

#1356618 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:32

Poor thing. I guess he was right though. I don't think anyone in their right mind would stay with him.

KingDingALing | 9

#1356678 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:51

Maybe you should have "get-back-together sex".

Tasanasanta | 0

#1356681 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:51

At least you had good sex. Every storm cloud has a silver lining!....Unless it's at night.

KiddNYC1O | 20

#1357084 - Sunday 5 September 2010 20:20

owned. so owned

mexicutioner123 | 0

#1358442 - Monday 6 September 2010 3:33

no really

By imemyself77 | 4

#1356021 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:02

sucks to be you

flighted | 1

#2441336 - Monday 2 May 2011 0:03

sounds like OP misunderstood

By ThunderGawd | 0

#1356035 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:03

so was it break up sex? can't blame him. break up sex is best because all kind of freaky can happen without worrying about what the other thinks or feels. Grunge it baby

By deafeningsilence | 8

#1356050 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:05

Break up sex? Wow. No.

By Haterman123 | 0

#1356077 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:08

WTF who has break up sex

sourgirl101 | 28

#1356124 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:18

Any guy that can!

litreofcola | 0

#1356288 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:02

who doesn't have break up sex?

jferal | 0

#1356297 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:03

ikr??? wtf

JillianlikesVogu | 0

#1356457 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:45

Why NOT have breakup sex?

sebassm | 12

#6166884 - Thursday 8 January 2015 18:53

For real who does?

By omfgrofl1337 | 0

#1356089 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:12

i modded this one sweet

SaintE_fml | 0

#1356373 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:25

slide????

JillianlikesVogu | 0

#1356476 - Sunday 5 September 2010 17:50

I want your shirt!

knight0748 | 5

#1356572 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:18

nobody cares....

luongo95 | 0

#1359039 - Monday 6 September 2010 7:12

nice tits

silvac13 | 0

#2455636 - Wednesday 4 May 2011 4:51

ummm right… #8's title is Mr, just saying

effyoubitch | 5

#3316235 - Tuesday 20 September 2011 10:28

SaintE... You really fight mma?! :)

By chrissaaababy | 0

#1356091 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:14

break up sex? really?

biagginoUSA | 5

#1356530 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:06

how you doing

travey | 0

#1356640 - Sunday 5 September 2010 18:36

^^^^^^^^
fail.

FootballFreak4 | 3

#1357341 - Sunday 5 September 2010 21:39

^^^^^
even bigger fail

By icecreamman222 | 0

#1356096 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:14

haha that sux

smiles4life | 1

#1357447 - Sunday 5 September 2010 23:03

I never believed in the whole make-up or break-up sex thing, if u want my opinion it's a stupid way to make up after a fight. I wouldn't wanna have sex with my bf after he just pissed me off. just sayin. lol

By SaintE_fml | 0

#1356098 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:14

how do you mistake that!!! 8 I'm bored

By murderbykitkat | 0

#1356104 - Sunday 5 September 2010 16:16

Break-up sex? lol. wow.