Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
Today, my wife said I shouldn't wash or iron the clothes, or do the dusting and vacuuming, because, I "don't do it correctly." Also my wife: "You don't do anything to help around here." FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML
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Top comments
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Maybe he just looked at you like that because he couldn't grasp the concept of what you were saying. Like he was confused and what you said made no sense.
titandesu 14
smooth
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Comments (92)
Witchylady 18
I think its time to upgrade your husband for a better one
krad204 21
Oh snap!
Jimbobaway 2
He probably did that cause you probably buy random stuff that you don't need or are unlikely to use them in the future.
Emzinatorbot 26
Wow what an asshole!
Thunderstruck14 30
Maybe he's just wondering why you said it? I mean, why WOULD you have something in your house if its not beautiful or useful? You don't need to be an interior designer to know that. Its just common sense.
MistyDaySupreme 6
Perhaps he thought of a joke, but knew if he said it out loud.. it would result in a fight and held his tongue?
Oppression_fml 19
It's a double double negative, it's normal for him to be confused.
vdm00_fml 8
well that's just too confusing but i think that you should ask him what he meant by that.
metalhead88 9
Apparently, no ***** were given on his part
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
Oh God no.