Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
Today, my wife said I shouldn't wash or iron the clothes, or do the dusting and vacuuming, because, I "don't do it correctly." Also my wife: "You don't do anything to help around here." FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Maybe he just looked at you like that because he couldn't grasp the concept of what you were saying. Like he was confused and what you said made no sense.
titandesu 14
smooth
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
Spyderbane 10
Holy crap on a cracker! How many people willing buy ugly, useless things for their homes.
False_Stupidity 42
You'd be surprised #25. Some people will buy anything if its on sale, whether they need or like it or not. Or then there's the type that buys impulsively without considering how it will fit with the rest of the decor.
Rewan_fml 12
well, I guess now we know that he fits neither...
candiicane 12
Maybe he thinks you buy a lot of useless crap and doesn't think you're abiding by those rules.
Melkboy 7
So he.... looked at you? I really don't see a problem here.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
where is the FML in this? Sounds like he was waiting for you to continue, or expecting you to suggest throwing out his favorite chair, or something. Until reading the comments, it never even occurred to me that he was subtly hinting that OP was ugly and useless.
cksmith51 14
I mean based off of this fml, I get the impression that he doesn't think anything in your house is beautiful, not you
juarezj96 12
Well you should always look beautiful so your hubby has nobody but you to look at
hordriss 14
A married relationship should be about more than that.
ClearlyImFunny 12
Quick to the Fml solution for all and every topic. DIVORCE!!!
Saraj07 18
You should of responded with "so I have no idea what you're doing in the house right now."
Enslaved 38
Maybe he thought you were hinting about throwing away some of his personal items but that your things were okay to keep?
TheDrifter 24
In my experience that's how it works. Redecorating/removing clutter involves my possessions being discarded, generally without my input. Our possessions being unvalued by our spouses seems to be a common concern among men.
Enslaved 38
I know what you mean. I try not to be that person. I decorated our house but compromised with my BF by giving him the spare bedroom and garage to do whatever he pleases. We have opposite taste. His collection of things like "Spawn" action figures clashed with my Japanese theme. Incorporating his "Highlander" sword collection was doable.
ashsaunde 13
I never understood why women throw their husband's things away. Any time we have to get rid of stuff, I get rid of my old stuff first and then tell him to pick and choose what he can part with.