Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML
Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad called to say she wasn't allowed to come with me on a three-day trip on New Year's. He waited until Christmas to say it, even though we booked and paid for the trip nearly a month ago. Now he ruined both holidays. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "No", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "Deal." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kc_bbg15 14
Soooo can she go?
JustJumped 22
Look him in the eye and say 'Christmas comes but once a year, and so do I'
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
christian1509 21
"I'm saving that for valentines day"
Flaming_Pandas 15
You should come back In a little while and tell him that you aren't intending on getting her pregnant. He might see your determination as something to respect.
Mekeritrig 15
Tell him you're using protection. And if that fails, tell him about abortion.
jvfelicio 13
And how did that work out for you?
stargirl_95 24
A lot of people in South Africa don't speak English as a first language. I think less than 10% of the population does despite the fact that we're an English speaking country. Maybe the father isn't a first language speaker and he still messes up his English every now and then? I pictured him saying this in a deep Afrikaans accent so it just makes sense to me.
matty8299 6
He is actually a proper Afrikaans boer-man
Zougibourg_fml 6
Did you use the random sentence generator ?
Polynomial 28
At least he'shonest? Was that a, pregnant, pause?
mrwilsong 6
You made my day
njgohard 16
At least he was direct about it.
Enslaved 38
"Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too Why you gotta be so rude I'm gonna *take* her anyway"
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Well, that's you told.
CrusherKitty 17
Well, he never said you couldn't take her on holiday and he never said you couldn't have safe sex with her, just that you couldn't get her pregnant. Just do it safely and there should be no problems with this guy.
Ichiya 29
Only safe sex is no sex
blackonblight 33
Bah, even abstinence failed once and people are still talking about it two thousand years later!
HazingNight 4
Mary was a *****. she was just good with stories. "God just decided to randomly make me pregnant."