Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
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Top comments
sheaboy121 6
Now if your kids are messed up you know why
JosephKorso 15
Did you proceed to watch The Nutcracker?
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Comments (79)
kowsee 22
Ouch!!
URBeingLied2 23
I'm always going to be careful taking off my belt, from now on. Thank you for this post, for real.
samlovesham1234 9
Yikes! That reminds me of one those nunchucks videos I saw on AFHV one time. *cringes*
itsme82 18
I'm so glad I wasn't there to see it. I would have died laughing while feeling horrible. But not able to stop myself. I hope you're back to your old self and feeling ok.
TelevisionMan 18
WOTAN? 14? 88? Just throw "I hate Jews" into your name while you're at it.
Kitouran 30
What?
Zinnie 10
en wikipedia org/wiki/Fourteen_Words That should explain it.
Nyattack 14
Wow. Just learned what this means ; my sympathy for the OP is gone...
StetsonSalvatore 12
Thank god you didn't call them your happy sacks. That gets so damn annoying.
Xeivan 15
ROFL! Dumbass!!!
iAmPaul 49
Unintentional BDSM.
littleflowertje 13
No relaxing for you... Ouch!
vikky538 29
And somehow you discovered your new fetish!!!