Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
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Top comments
sheaboy121 6
Now if your kids are messed up you know why
JosephKorso 15
Did you proceed to watch The Nutcracker?
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Comments (79)
Anon E Muss 11
Oh c'mon man, don't be so weak, grow a pair of balls! ... Oh.
capnbzarr 43
Protip: You don't have to remove your belt from your pants to take your pants off. You can just unbuckle it and leave it on your pants.
WOTAN1488 24
Hi OP here, thanks all I am fine. I was down for about 15-20 minutes including some gagging and the like. And i also had a mouth full of spaghetti to add onto it lol. I learned from this mistake indefinitely.
uchihadesendent 14
Glad to hear you're better OP and just in case get it checked out you never know.
HitmanKillsYou 13
its like i can feel the pain. FYL man
Adawong 3
Lol that does suck but you gotta admit it's funny.
zaidthunder1 27
Our friend group had an elevator rule, whenever we were in the elevator we had to keep our groins covered with our hands, else you get the blow from someone. Retaliation is breaking the rule. How do you say, it hurts like a bitch.
capnbzarr 43
With friends like that, who needs enemies?
kennethlwinter 3
Take your belt out like a human next time instead of like a moron.
uchihadesendent 14
Like you've never done anything to hurt yourself.
newzealand 28
Why's was your ballsack already tender?? Not let's say after hitting it with a belt?
c0rrupt555 3
ROFL. you made my night. I laughed pretty hard at that. sorry. I know that's gotta hurt but you know
Satch_fml 11
Done that before.