Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
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Top comments
sheaboy121 6
Now if your kids are messed up you know why
JosephKorso 15
Did you proceed to watch The Nutcracker?
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Comments (79)
Mynamewontfi 40
I hope someone was there to film it, since it would make for a great video.
RoyalMGN 8
well Op I hope you feel better I know the agonizing pain getting hit in the family jewls can produce
Colon_Man 17
If you whip your belt off don't all your pouches fall on the floor? That's where I keep all my accessories; batarangs, bat-grappling hook, bat shark repellent...
zainman13 26
How did you manage all that and get your FML accepted?
LiveForSenpai 13
I feel ya, OP... when I was a kid, I went to this ultimate frisbee camp, and this little kid whose extended arm was my exact groin height stood next to me and tried to throw the frisbee really hard. He forgot to let go T-T
tin_cup 27
Now that's talent!
BubbaYoshi117 11
Oooh that sucks. I've had that happen with the buckle (hook side out, luckily), and I was basically paralyzed in a protective crouch for what felt like a lifetime before I could even squeak out an "ow".
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Man up, you sissy.
fakedsincerity 32
calm down, bro. not everyone is an Alpha Bro Dude Macho Manly Man like you.
zaidthunder1 27
I doubt getting hurt down there with a belt hurts as much as getting punched down there.
headshottic 2
I could walk into a doorknob and still cry for about 3 minutes
n_a_t_a_l_i_e 6
Moments like those make me glad to be female.
TxAsMaD3 19
Like cheeseburger eddie said "you gotta protect the Mcnuggets"