Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my 6-minute-long-shower lasted 3 times as long as the sex prior to it. Including foreplay. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
that's progress, support the guy
Harpy20 24
Talk to him about it if it's really a problem for you. Maybe he could get you off first, before he goes for the bronze. (I would say 'gold' but unless he was rocking your world in that minute, he doesn't deserve a medal.)
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Comments (128)
Anumayis 34
he should fap more often.
akiahara 14
Hope he has other talents.
Genuine_G 8
That's just sad, try looking into those male kegel excercises.
thatonegirlnic 10
Nowhere to go but up!
happyfingers 15
Hehe... "Up" XD Yes, I am immature.
Donnakar 20
Practice makes perfect :)
hellbilly205 17
They make a button for that...
jmw24 8
tell him to keep his mind busy with something else, you know like think about chairs or something haha
solarrunner 16
How is that enjoying sex then, if he thinks about lego for instance...
hellbilly205 17
Progress, just think in another year he'll be up to 2 minutes.
schadenfreud 6
make him a premature ejaculation man costume. his tagline could be 'I came as quickly as I could'
NightHawk387 22
He's not the hero she deserves, but he's the hero she needs.
qwertkinz 12
The way you worded this made it seem like you had 6 months of nonstop sex...
Epikouros 32
She'd be drowning in sperm...
False_Stupidity 42
I read it like that at first too