Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in three months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML
Today, a few weeks after my ex dumped me and I'd just started to get over it, she asked me to get her pregnant. We had sex once within the year we were dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my ex told me she got pregnant from when I was comforting her when her mother died. We were still friends, so I went to her house and held her while she cried. One thing led to another and we began fucking like rabbits. I was gonna propose to my girlfriend next month. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
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Top comments
Sfaizi24 17
MAKE HER A HAM STEAK
Jeffo193 13
If she's pregnant, you're going to be doing a lot of this stuff. A friend of mine craved pickled gerkhins (dill pickles) dipped in ice cream when she was pregnant, and burst into tears when she smelled a bad smell...
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Comments (179)
CrazyManNo9 29
Mine freaked out because I forgot to bring home milk. It happens. Enjoy the hell out of it, and I am serious. There is nothing more wonderful!
Feared 9
Hormones...
kurodansei 16
Estrogen...
sesor 7
That's awesome, I hope you made her the ham steak :)
yoloteddy 3
Don't sleep with a pregnant women... omfg ewww
LadySigyn 17
From what Ive been told, sex during pregnancy is quite pleasurable. and you, mister 'yoloteddy' are clearly underage or still a virgin (or both.) so keep your dumb opinions to yourself please.
goudou_fml 19
Should beat off the meat
DeBoss 8
Enjoy it.. Lots of laugh when it's over.. :) And it's kinda sweet anyway - right?
FML_14u2c 14
Pregnant girlfriend? I'm waiting for the shotgun wedding.
NewFire911 5
Yeah, it's safer to just do what she asks, and also, when you give her your ham, tell her she's pretty and if it weren't for her beautiful pregnant glow, you wouldnt be able to tell she's pregnant.
simoncat 11
Why doesn't anyone wait to be married before having kids any more?
spliit_fml 8
Make her the ham steak she's not in control of her mood swings nor her cravings.