Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML
Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML
Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML
Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML
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Top comments
Sebastian_NG 17
... #3 gets thumbed down
elpopsw 0
Did the ground swallow you and your paranoia up?
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Comments (81)
SkoomaKi 28
Hey it's not your fault that you assumed she was staring at you, but try and ask a little more politely next time.
thisiscat 14
I can see uncle Joey from full house doing this, with his little hand motion thing CUT.. IT..OUT..
maryjane1 3
Five WHOLE minutes? YDI OP for overreacting
ninjadinos 14
Why would you scream at her? Why wouldn't you just calmly ask her what she was doing, or if you could help her in some way? Come on OP. Oh well, I guess now you have learned your lesson.
MurphyS94 4
Nope, OP hasn't learned anything from this experience. They posted it on FML hoping to gain sympathy to make themselves feel better. They don't feel bad about screaming at someone for a ridiculous reason, just about screaming at someone with a lazy eye. OP is moronic.
DiscoRanger 0
Not all FML's are for sympathy. I've posted about things that were stressful at the time, but then seem hilarious, and I just had to submit them to FML. But screaming really? You could have asked politely for the person to stop staring, instead of yelling at them. Overall, YDI.
The_Hitdude 12
Just tell her you have a mild form of terrets(?) syndrome and offer to take her out for dinner. Problem solved.
MoogleSam 8
*Tourette Syndrome Also, Tourettes doesn't cause you to scream your head off at someone for no reason so telling her that would just make the OP stupid.
The_Hitdude 12
54: Thanks for that. I'm not sure why I forgot how to spell that. I don't think a lot of people know that tourettes doesn't include yelling incessant things, at least I didn't know. Guess I should've read up on it a little more.
emba_fml 13
no, I think most people know
Pandacupcakelove 26
"Stop stearing at me like a creep! Do you want to go out with me?" Yeah... That will work.
Alostfart 2
Why didn't you just politely ask her why she was staring at you?
mattorama 15
Because that would have been too simple and polite.
ImABagel 0
Lazy eyes are easy to notice. One eye is going one way and the other eye is going a different direction. OP, you are not very observant.
staylor4598 1
Krista...?
Awsumuzzie 12
What would you do if you spent a day in my shoes? There's not one place I don't get eye raped. I definitely don't scream at anyone, though. Let them stare, it's either a compliment or just plain disrespect. Regardless, it doesn't hurt you.
Linkerdoodles 15
Cocky.
iPeterPan 8
You're not attractive, so why do you get eye raped?
DiscoRanger 0
You mean a day in your sandals...? Sorry, I had to go there. Your very cocky.
esines 9
Oh man your real cool
savfd645 7
Meanie butt!! YDI
Insane_Tea 15
I don't understand why some people think that everyone in the world is the least bit interested in them.