Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML
Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML
Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML
Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML
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Top comments
Sebastian_NG 17
... #3 gets thumbed down
elpopsw 0
Did the ground swallow you and your paranoia up?
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Comments (81)
angelinaanimerg 7
**** your life? **** their life.
hateevryone 15
How can you not notice that?
ninja_beetchxX 0
No need to scream.just kindly go over there and ask what she is doing. Jeez
dysonsimpson15 1
Asshole lol
TheyCallMeNene 4
99 I thought I was alone on that.
cookeemonster 7
While moderating I came across an FML that said "today on the bus minding my own business I was screamed at for staring. I have a lazy eye FML.
desidude 0
In my eye. Your eye kept noticing her eye, so its you who were also staring at her. You should have ignored the situation rather then acting like a lil bitch. In my eye her life is F not yours dip shit!
Daederoth 10
You're a monster, be ashamed.
dregtp 1
I had someone like that working with me, should've asked before freaking, YDI
maxamus951852 3
Lol @ 4.. Yeah you should never scream at people, even if you're getting raped you're supposed to ask them nicely to stop..